9 to 5 … woah.

Gather round kids, it’s episode two of Sassy’s film club. Now that we’ve all discussed Tootsie and it’s brilliant mix of spangles, jews, wigs, feminist commentary and the queer gaze, it’s time for 9 to 5.

This movie is about 19 of the 100 Reasons Why I Love Dolly Parton (of the remaining 81, at least 30 are in ‘The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas’, one of them is the fact that she has both ‘Jesus Days’ and Gay Pride days at her Dollywood ranch, and two are her boobs).

Hello gorgeous!

Dolly is Doralee, the adorable fairy floss secretary with a gun in her purse. When she speaks angels play harps made of coconut ice and unicorn foals are born from tiger lily pods.

Lily Tomlin is acid-tongued Violet. When she opens her mouth passive aggressive knives like ‘oh, I know just where to stick it Roz’ fly out.

… and little Jane Fonda, in her Elton glasses and felt hats, is guileless divorcee Judy.

But do you know what people miss about this movie? It’s not just 80s schtick. It’s not proto-feminist First Wives crap. It’s not Office Space with women from 1980 (although there are a lot of references to Xerox machines).

It’s truly, completely, and utterly insane. They lull you in with Miss Dolly singing ’9 to 5′ – did you know she wrote that song accompanying herself on only her acrylic nails?? That’s another of the 100 Reasons – and then they totally freak you the fuck out. The girls end up in this bar:

with some giant margaritas and a joint that was a gift from Violet’s teenage son (I only wish to have a son that amazing one day), at which point they grab you with their fake nails and throw you down the rabbit hole.

There are cowgirl outfits, safari outfits, snow white outfits; A man is poisoned with Rid O Rat, concussed, almost killed, and causes the three to accidentally body-snatch from a hospital; There are gimp outfits, alcoholic old typing-pool boilers, S&M jokes, and a man named Dick in a half-unzipped 1980s Adidas jacket wearing only his sparse chest hair underneath. There is also the ONLY scene I’ve ever seen where actors are supposed to look stoned … and do.

So I want you to do something for me. I want you to go home, put on a robe, get completely stoned, and put this movie on. Eat a bucket of wings, write some notes and I’ll see you next week at film club.

xox Sassy