all-stars wrap up: fake greg bird and awards ceremonies

Friday’s All-Star week itinerary: junior clinic with the Indigenous team. Whee! If you didn’t get the translation of that, it basically means: cuteness.

We rocked up to find the lucky schoolkids itching to get some footy player signatures. And the one line that was four times the length of the others? For the one and only Preston Campbell. Dammit those kids have good taste. WE LOVE PRESTO.

One little guy needs a leg up

Basically everywhere he went he was surrounded by a scrum of worshipping kids. It took all our willpower not to join it.

For a second we actually thought Pres was the only guy in the tent, until Sassy noticed he was actually hanging out with Greg Bird. At this point Kiki turned around and said: “oh yeah! It’s so weird no one wants to get an autograph from him, poor guy”.

Except THAT’S NOT GREG BIRD, KIKI. THAT’S JUST SOME RANDOM GUY STANDING AROUND IN A MAMBO SHIRT. Greg Bird is that other guy, over there in the indigenous team shirt over there signing posters for little kids. Maybe it’s time to get some prescription sunglasses. Just sayin.

[Um.... in my defence that bloke is a dead ringer for Gregory and I stand by that. - Kiki]

Our girl Yasmin has also just arrived in the Goldy to watch the match tomorrow with us, so we dragged her along to get her first glimpse of the team she’ll be cheering. At the sight of Tom Learoyd-Lahrs we realised it was a Completely Awesome Idea. She paused with her Coke Zero straw halfway to her mouth and finally whispered: ” … who is THAT?”.

To quote Gorden Tallis “… is that a brother or what, girls?” Indeed that is a brother, Gorden. If by ‘brother’ you mean ‘hot bitch’.

TLL attempts to figure out whether he’s creeped out or flattered by Gorden’s remark

We also want to send our condolences to these kids, who go to school right next to Pizzey Park where the clinic was held. Having their lunchtime entrapped behind a wire fence. So close, yet so so far.

They hate their lives.

And before we go to the game tomorrow at Skilled Park, we want to give out a few awards that we came up with in the last week. Grab your drinks and get ready to clap, bitches:

King of Hearts: Preston Campbell

Ladies Choice: Sam Burgess

Stealth Spunk: Joel Thompson

Best Rug: George Rose

Worst surfer: Michael Jennings

Most European Boardshorts: Nate Myles (those bitches were SHORT)

Sad Panda Award: Billy Slater

Most Confused by Life: Anthony Tupou

Kids’ Favourite: Scott Prince

Best Value: Gorden Tallis

For the record, we are cheering for the Indigenous team. When we told Preston Campbell we’d be in his corner he seemed totally surprised when he said ‘awww, thank girls!’. BUT IT’S TRUE.

See you at the game, kittens!