8 

all-stars 2011 superpartytimes

February 16th, 2011


pic. Gold Coast Titans

Clear out the tumbleweeds, your bitches are back!

We’ve been up on the Goldy for All-Stars week, which, along with City-Country week, is basically the footy blogger version of Christmas. What were we doing, you ask? Well, obviously we were generally hanging around, being loud, and making pervy comments. Cause, you know, fish gotta swim.

But in between we made some little videos for OneHD:

Benji Marshall told us some seriously weird shit about sharing a bed with Liam Fulton

Scott Prince told us that George Rose reckons he’s “the best dancer over 100kgs” - do they have dance-related weight classes? Like in boxing? They totally should.

Laurie Daley told us just how often Jamal Idris falls asleep

Feleti Mateo admitted he’s scared of heights

Freddy Fittler explained how Petero Civoniceva is the WORST SURFER IN THE WORLD

We gave a valentine to George Rose

We looked like hobbits standing next to Cory Paterson

Shaun Kenny-Dowall talked about chicken (of course he did)

… and Josh Dugan was generally adorable.

The only sad thing is that so much awesomeness didn’t make it into our videos. We wish you could’ve seen Jamal Idris put Cliff Lyons in a play-headlock, or the under-16s player from Queensland who HAD A FULL BEARD. Or when we asked Greg Bird for an interview and he thought the mike was for karaoke: “oh, do you want me to sing?”

Sing Billy Joel, Birdy!

Or the afternoon at White Water World when a photographer asked Preston Campbell to pick up a kid in the wave pool one more time so he could capture it on film and the kid freaked the hell out. If you haven’t seen a kid in Preston’s arms yelling ‘F*CK! LET ME GOOOOO!’ like a stranger-danger educational video, you haven’t lived. Amazing.

We may also have given Cory Paterson a marshmallow rose to make up for the fact that we didn’t get him a special Valentine’s gift like the sweet teddy bear we bought for George Rose. See! We still love ya Cory!

But possibly the weirdest moment of the trip was as we left the All-Stars game at Skilled and Sassy was explaining – loudly, because she’s loud – how weird it is that everyone in Queensland is in love with Darren Lockyer (they totally are).

Then, all of a sudden, a dude in a Maroons jersey puffing on a durry appeared from nowhere and said “DID YOU HEAR THAT? SOMEONE’S TALKING SHIT ABOUT LOCKY!”

Is there some kind of … bat signal? Like a cut-out of Locky’s head that alerts Queenslanders when someone questions their footballing hero? Where did he come from? How did he knowwwwww?

Maybe he’s friends with the girl who sat next to us in the stands and had Queenslander tattooed on her back. In maroon. Queenslanders, you amaze us.

But there was one little bit of All-Stars magic that we caught on video just for y’all. Greg Bird has a conspiracy theory and he wants you to know all about it:

IT’S A MEDIA CONSPIRACY! You know it’s true. How else could one man have a record of SO MANY unflattering photos? You know it makes sense.

Now we’ll leave you with a selection of our favourite photos taken by Kiki and Yasmin. How many sleeps till All-Stars 2012?

6 

pick’n’mix, errol-style

November 22nd, 2010

Boring story time: last week I was straight-up exhausted and generally feeling sorry for myself. So we went to see Harry Potter (seriously! so good!) and my friend Eddie brought me two separate home-made snack bags. One of barbecue shapes, and one of pick-n-mix lollies. PICK N MIX. IT’S EVEN BETTER THAN I REMEMBERED. HOW HAVE I NOT HAD THIS FOR SO LONG?

And in an attempt to ease the pain of the off-season here’s a little online pick’n’mix of footy goodness for you to enjoy. A little sweet, a little savoury.

It’s been a week since Greg Inglis settled in at Redfern and apparently while we were all busy talking about whether his skin tone suits red and green (June Dally-Watkins is yet to call me back), things got complicated. Our Errol-idol Russell Crowe went on Jay Leno to tell the world how awesome he thinks GI is, then the Storm got cold feet about granting his release, AND GI got a massive write up in Danny Weidler’s column on the weekend right next to a piece about Paul Gallen taking off his shorts. No one wants to open the paper and see their name next to a pantsless forward, do they?

End result is that Channel 9 news says Souths are worried about GI’s mental and emotional health. The uncertainty is making him upset n that. Well, they say uncertainty. I say moving is a bitch and almost drove me to a nervous breakdown too, so no judgment if he’s had a little cry lately. At some point you just open a cupboard you thought was empty, see a giant pile of clothes and want to die a little.

I guess now we all know why he’s looking so bulky lately. IT’S CAUSE HE’S FULL OF FEELINGS.

And that bit just under his sternum? Pretty sure if you look closely you’ll see that particular bit of feeling is what they call ‘remorse for a late-night service station pie’. I have that too.

Meanwhile the kids at Ad Sense have updated the newest Broncos NRMA ad, which, weirdly, we love.

When did this happen? All of a sudden seeing men in maroon schill NRMA insurance brings joy to our hearts. We can’t pinpoint exactly when we started finding the Broncos endearing, but it may have been the moment we saw Sam Thaiday shaking down a vending machine and Ben Te’o in an apron. Benny and his cake-trolley are welcome at Errol HQ any time.

You heard it here first: NRMA is now responsible for one of the first ever instances of anything good coming out of Queensland.

The only other non-hateful thing they have north of the border that I can think of right now is, of course, the Indigenous All-Stars game in February on the Gold Coast (based on an idea by Preston Campbell, not from Queensland).

They’ve announced the team list and – as expected- the Indigenous squad is a festival of awesome.

It includes fearless leader Preston Campbell, newbie Ryan James (not from Queensland) and his gorgeous silky mane of curls, Tom ‘the Hugh Jackman of rugby league’ Learoyd-Lahrs (not from Queensland), as well as Jamie Soward (not from Queensland), who seems to have grown a truly delightful moustache this Movember.

Sadly, we have at least another two months until All-Stars 2011 comes around. All we can think of to tide ourselves over is the prospect of a really good Ashes series, complete with Warnie’s new tv show, the new range of sweet retro green and gold cricket merchandise at Rebel Sport, and the vague possibility that Stuart Broad and Mitchell Johnson might bitch each other out again. REMEMBER WHEN THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED? AND WE MADE FUNNY JOKES ABOUT IT?┬áThose were some good times.

Michael Clarke agrees.

Pics. Getty Images