Pic. Getty Images
Oh, Martin. How could you do this to us, Martin Kennedy?
We always thought Martin would be remembered for:
a) being a handsome ranga (cause god knows they’re rare enough … it’s pretty much him and the Love Shack, right?)
b) being born after 1980 and somehow still being named “Martin”
c) being an Oh Errol fave – remember when we did this adorable interview with him at the Easter show?
He’s a Bertie Beetle man! So cute.
d) and the rarest of all football achievements, the SELF-INDUCED TRIP-OVER FALCON.
But then he had to play a blinder against the Tigers and tell the media that he’s a Queenslander through and through.
Gotta be honest, that grosses the hell out of me.
This isn’t half-baked. You are either a Queenslander or you’re not and I am,” Kennedy said. “It was only when I went to Queensland that I started playing footy.
“I had 12 months of playing with my mates in NSW but it was in Queensland when I started to play seriously.
“I was born in NSW but my early years were on the farm in northern NSW. When you are young you really don’t know who you want to play for.
“My idols are Shane Webcke and Steve Price.
“If you grow up in Queensland, Queensland player are your idols.
“My greatest achievement before playing first grade was making the junior Queensland sides. All the junior rep teams I made were in Queensland.
ARGH, THE COBRAS THE COBRAS! Aside from ‘miss, did you know your dress is caught in your underpants?’ those are pretty much the most upsetting words I’ve ever heard. See, I can get on board with people living their whole lives in Queensland and growing up bleeding cane toady maroon blood. But the idea of someone who’s lived, you know … anywhere else, and choosing to call themselves a Queenslander blows my damn mind. And makes me feel a little nauseated. All that maroon *shudder*
But here’s the main thing: Geoff Carr (sup Geoff! how are ya?) says they don’t know which state he qualifies yet, but the important thing is: YOU CAN ONLY QUALIFY FOR ONE. First senior game. Not one senior game, not ten. It’s not like getting on a plane and choosing the chicken or the fish. Rules are rules.
Pic courtesy of awesomestorm. Thank you missy!
Amirite or amirite Cooper Cronk?
According to our Errol-fanz, responses to this whole Martin Kennedy debacle include:
“WE DON’T EVEN NEED HIM FOR QLD!”, “Who gives a rats arse?”, and even “They can have Kennedy, we’ll take Inglis back”.
Here’s the way I see it:
If it turns out he’s a Queenslander, then crack a XXXX and let’s all smash a Red Bull and a Stillnox.
If it turns out he’s a proper Blue, then … can we turn him down? If you don’t want to play, you shouldn’t, right?
And if the answer turns out to be “he’s eligible for both and he chooses Queensland like Greg Inglis” then I will straight up cut a bitch. And if being eligible for whichever state you like most is the new rule, I will also then build a time machine and go back and put every player who idolised a NSW player straight into the Blues team. Adrian Morley, come on dowwwwn! Doesn’t matter where you’re from! Just matters that you have love in your heart and a footy in your hands.
Queensland kinda needs to make a decision here. Either State of Origin is heaps important and shit, and actually proves something, in which case you have to follow the rules. Or, it’s just a random game we play and you might as well go nuts and start buying in Maori in the Origin version of Storm-salary-cap cheating. Mal Meninga could even make a little hand-made card and post it to the Crusaders saying ‘Sonny Bill, your wish has come true! You’re a Queenslander, eh bro!’
But if you’re not gonna take it seriously, no one’s allowed to cry when they win. Kk? Deal.
In other Maroon news, the NRL’s newest coach Anthony Griffin has told his boys not to fall in love with themselves after their winning streak.
“We’ve been good but it’s really important we don’t fall in love with ourselves,” he said after naming an extended 20-man squad on Tuesday.
Oh no, no, don’t worry, boys. When he says ‘love yourselves’ he didn’t mean THAT.
Ben Hannant, it’s okay. You can go back drinking your water, it was just a metaphor.
And Sammy Thaiday, don’t look so sad, since it’s a metaphor you can still have Special Alone Times if you want to.
And last, but not least, another man who wears a maroon uniform is in trouble for not keeping something in his pants.
Well of course Anthony Watmough is in trouble for peeing on the Corso. Oh, Watmough. And I won’t judge, because I’ve read the bible, and I’m pretty sure there’s a bit in there about letting she who has never peed in the street at night cast the first stone.
All I know is fish gotta swim. If you have a keg like Watmough in your second row, sometimes he pees in the street. Or calls someone’s outfit slutty. Or turns up to a community event in white board shorts.
He’s just … Watmough. Amirite, Cooper Cronk?