Here you have it, a very special edition of Errol TV. It was Sassy’s birthday, it was our first romantic sunset filming, we met a man CALLED ERROL … and we got you interviews with the hilarious Joel Thompson and Tom Learoyd-Lahrs from the Canberra Raiders. Our favourite part? When we get Tom Learoyd-Lahrs to make fun of his Raiders media manager (also the Country media manager) Ben Pollack. Also, when Tom Learoyd-Lahrs … exists.
We won’t be doing any filming today till this afternoon, then we have a Special Birthday Date with some of our favourite peeps and a vat of margaritas. So to tide you over until we can put up some new interviews tomorrow, here’s a mini-video we made on the drive up. We’re 99% sure it will also guarantee both of us will die alone, surrounded by processed meats. Ain’t nothing sexier than a lady who loves her pies.
Let’s get this out of the way: WE GOT A HUG FROM JAMAL. IT’S ON VIDEO. YOU WILL SEE IT. IT WAS AMAZING.
Now, where were we?
Day 1 of our Port Macquarie Odyssey took us to local skills clinics with both City and Country teams and some Port Mac schoolkids. Pretty obviously, the weather was a massive bitch. Hence, we look like slightly drowned dogs, and did most of our interviews under a random signing marquee. Good times.
Here’s the rundown, before we get to the sweet video action: Intern Lachie is so teeny! Yes, we see him around the office every day, but we have an average height of 5’5″, so seeing him amongst other footy players is completely different and really worries us. Don’t break him please!
Lots of you asked for Josh Dugan interviews, but this morning he was far too busy talking on his mobile and being interviewed in a public toilet block by a really shifty looking ‘journo’ for us to get interviews … sorry guys! Next time, we promise.
Jamal got the same treatment; we like to call it George Michael TV.
Make sure you pay attention in our favourite bits of the video:
* Todd Carney shifting around like he has ants in his pants, thanks to Michael Robertson and Joel Thompson sitting off-camera and playing footsies with Todd’s Crotch.
* Ronnie Palmer gazing off into the distance as he talks about shorts, and how he secretly rolls his up when no one’s looking. What was he looking at? Carty was cracking up, at Ronnie’s expense.
* Carty fending off the ‘ambush’ questions about us being pests. According to him we are “very good girls”. AWWWW.
Sadly, what you can’t see in the video (but we could see) is how interested Greg Bird was in the informative literature we brought about the sights of Port Macquarie. He loved it! Couldn’t wait to find out what historical peccadillos Port had in store for him. We are also 99% sure Joel Thompson took home the Frangipanni massage pamphlet. Good choice.
After we wrapped up our interviews, we headed back to town for lunch. Something classy for two classy ladies … like Subway. As we were parking we drove past Carty and Ronnie – everyone’s favourite City rugby league power couple – heading out for a lunch date. They seemed to like Sassy’s mum’s sweet Subaru station wagon. “Nice car, girls”.
Apparently everyone had the same idea, because inside Subway we found half of the city team on a sandwich date: Trent Waterhouse, Lachlan Coote, Joel Reddy, Tim Grant and Michael Jennings. Before you ask, no we aren’t stalking them. And yes, they eat Subway, just like regular people!
Kiki had a Moment of Trauma in Subway when she found herself lined up behind Trent Waterhouse, really really wanting to order a footlong turkey sub, but kind of embarassed since giant prop Trent Waterhouse had just ordered a footlong, too. After a brief moment of indecision: does she just WHISPER her order? should she order a six-inch like a lady? … she thought DAMMIT. I REALLY WANT MY FOOTLONG. Cue the following exchange at the cash register:
Kiki: “I can’t believe I eat the same lunch as a footballer”
Subway dude: “… actually a little bit more”
Sassy: “Is that cause she ordered double cheese?”
We are absolutely bloody exhausted right now. We spent the entire day at the Easter Show, most of that time was spent on the cattle lawn with NRL players and really cute kids. And wow, that lawn provided a powerful stench. It also provided Kiki with Embarassing Life Moment #567
Servo dude – “Busy day today?”
Kiki – “Yeh, I was working at the Easter Show. I had to go home and have a shower coz I smelt like poo.”
Servo dude – “…..”
Kiki – “I MEAN COW POO. NOT HUMAN POO. GOD.”
We’re also pretty proud, cause today is a big day bitches. Today is the WORLD PREMIERE OF ERROL TV. We have been talking about it for ages, creating videos just for Errol. But because we are us, it’s taken about 6 months to turn ideas into reality. But finally, we did it! Hoorah!
We are dedicated to our Errol readers. We will even spend a day in a tent that smells of shit. Behold, the debut of Errol Tv! Featuring us and our double chins, Kiki’s unbelievably bad hair, Rhys Wesser, Luke Priddis, Trent Waterhouse, Roosters cuddles and a Tiger who really really loves hot dogs. Please know that when Sassy says ‘fans’, she does it with irony. And please watch out for the ARL dude running a training drill while smashing an entire ear of corn on a stick. Legend.
Apologies from Kiki re – the whole ‘I can’t be bothered doing my makeup so I’m gonna wear giant Top Gun sunnies that look terrible on camera’. It won’t happen again. Live and learn people.
Other highlights of the day, sadly not all of them caught on film, included:
* Mario Fenech burning Sassy: “you’re a funny girl, but not intentionally”.
* Mario telling us we were the best looking media there. Considering everyone else was a dude, this isn’t much of a compliment. BUT THANKS MUZ! We love ya.
* Sassy pretending to kick Andy from the NRL, only for him to literally flinch in fear. Awesome.
* We found ourselves needing a break from the poo smell. We soon discovered a place that served margaritas. Kiki asked “can we have one? is it 12pm yet?”. Sassy responded “11.40am, close enough. It’s tequila time.” Mmmm … frozen daytime alcohol.
* Kiki being so upset by Luke Priddis telling her she is too old for a Disney Princess showbag, she ended up buying a Tinkerbell stationery one instead.
She does love her new Tink pencil tin and matching Tink crayons (and created Sassy a truly spectacular artwork for her fridge) but deep down she really wanted a plastic tiara. DAMN YOU LUKE PRIDDIS.
And look how happy Sassy looks. Kiki missed out like WOAH.
* Luke Priddis redeeming himself by telling Kiki her Dragons necklace was ‘beautiful’ during their interview. Well spotted L.Pridd.
* Seeing Isaac Luke exiting the Milking Barn. Apparently he is really into dairy.
Make sure you comment and tell us what you think x