6 

some very errol christmas cheer

December 11th, 2009

Life as a blogger can be tough, even at Christmas. Sure there are pluses – like the comfort of working in your pyjamas and the joy of photoshopping hats onto Serious Naked Photos, but then there’s also the having to live off beans from a can, the potential for carpul tunnel syndrome, the anonymous boys online who call you footy sluts … wait, actually that last one is actually just funny. But still, shit can get brutal yo*.

* in no way do I actually think this is brutal, compared to, say, people who live through war or have health problems which mean they’re not allowed to drink, or haven’t ever heard of the Backstreet Boys. Now THAT’S tough.

What was my point? Oh yeah, being a footy fan can be a complete bitch sometimes, too. And by ‘sometimes’ I pretty much mean ‘when you go for the Roosters or the Sharks’.

And most importantly, life can be toughest of all when a great human like Wendell Sailor announces his retirement. Today is officially one month since we all got the sniffles saying goodbye to Dell. It’s a Delliversary!

So we decided to try and find a little footy sunshine to brighten up everyone’s weekend. Luckily, the Dragons have some of the greatest corporate partners ever, and have this totally brilliant Reebok ad up on their website starring Big Dell himself.

IT’S WENDELL! DANCING! IN REEBOK GEAR!


Yes, maybe I did make a mini-collage of screencaps of Dell dancing. What of it?


Now that is some brilliant advertising right there. If you can watch that without wanting to buy I-DON’T-EVEN-CARE-WHATEVER-DELL-IS-SELLING then you’re a stronger person than I am. Honestly, this is the kinda shit they should be talking about on the Gruen Transfer. It’s fantastic.

Even better? Dragons besties and Errol faves Wendell and Jamie ‘Tiny Dancer’ Soward also pop up to wish you a merry Christmas on the Dragons homepage …. in Santa hats. And Dell telling us all to become Red V members. Not gonna lie …. I may have joined up. Even though I’m not a Dragons fan. That’s the power of the Dell. Whoever is looking after the Dragons website, we salute you. WE. SALUTE.YOU.

And if Wendell being hilarious isn’t your style (which …. seriously? It’s not your style? You absolute freak. Do you also eat babies and put your toilet paper on the roll underhand?) we found you some adorableness from across the Tasman and north of the Tweed.

Pic. Getty Images

Yup, that right there is Errol Cutest Rooke of the Year from 2008, Kevin Locke, bringing the cute with his Maori greetings all over the island of Shebangabang (occasionally known as New Zealand). He is hands-down Shebangabang’s cutest footy player, am I right? I’m so right.

Meanwhile Scotty Prince and the Titans boys have been busy …. playing bowls.

That’s right, playing bowls. And for some reason, footy players playing bowls = comedy gold. All those giant arms, no need for strength! It may also be because, in Kevin Gordon’s case, they love an Akubra. Oh, K.Flash. Could this be the first time I’ve ever swooned at a man in an Akubra? My guess is yes.

And if that doesn’t cheer you up, maybe you should give up on life. Just sayin.

Love Sassy xox

11 

the boys (and girls) are back in towwwwn

September 8th, 2009

HI BITCHES! Did you miss me? I know you did. You know who missed me more than anyone in the whole wide world? The bloody Dragons. You realise their form took a nosedive as soon as I left the country right? The little fuckers. This isn’t the first time either. In 2006 when I went to the States they lost every game while I was away, then started winning when I returned. And this time they did EXACTLY THE SAME THING.

The past 2 and a half weeks I couldn’t even enjoy my break. No no. I was deadset flooded with communication from home concerning the Dragons. Either it was St George fans begging me to come home, fans of other teams delighting in the Dragons misery (fuck all y’all!!) or my mother ringing saying things like ‘darling….I have some bad news’.

Anyway, we returned home last Friday and whaddyaknow, those tricksy little buggers found their form again and kicked some blue and yellow ass. They were all scorching attack, flawless hard hitting defence and OH HI B.MOZ GOT 3 TRIES! I was torn between being completely over joyed, horrifically jetlagged and being annoyed at them punishing me for going on holidays. Emotional manipulation! Disgrace!

Intern John John jumped into his spangly hotpants and checked the Errol mailbox on Monday morning and found a card my boys sent me. MINOR PREMIERS WHUT WHUUUUT! I adore the love hearts, that was Hot Bitch Cooper’s touch wasn’t it? He is a design genius. All is forgiven my darlings.

Obviously I am absolutely thrilled with the Minor Premiership and could not be prouder of my babies. I am also rather excited that in my absence  Dell has embraced his disco aura and is growing a fierce fro and sideburns combination. Amazing.

So anyway, our trip was amazing and we love the Jacksonville Axemen even more than before. Put it this way, there were goodbye tears. And hugs. And wailing. We will be writing some posts on them soon, including lots of awesome photos that we snapped. We had the most epic time and the boys, along with their staff and fans, are some of the greatest people we have ever met….so stay tuned for that.

In other vitally important Kiki/Errol newz, today I won a a guessing competition on Twitter. Who cares, you say? Oh no, this shit is lolz x 1000. For those who don’t know,  Mat Rogers has a Twitter. AND IT IS AMAZING. 

Today he posted this photo and asked his followers to guess who it was. The winner would receive a signed Titans poster.

I took one look and thought I KNOW THOSE NIPPLES…IT’S KEVIN GORDON! And what do you know…I WON THE COMPETITION. Aaaaaah lolol. I was alone at home on my lappie and when Mat tweeted at us to let us know I was the winner, I seriously laughed out loud and clapped like an idiot. I am such a loser.

So apparently the poster is on the way to Errol HQ and I could not be happier. Not because we get a signed Titans poster, but because my intense perviness has finally paid off.

PS- Seriously how ripped is K.Flash? Thrusssst.

PPS – Never fear kittens, the Errol Awards ARE on for 2009…just a bit delayed. We have new categories and everything. Coming soon!