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tick tock, tick tock

June 29th, 2011

Time has been ticking away in so many senses lately. So much work at our regular day-jobs! So many days since we posted! So few days till the Origin III decider!

So until we get twenty minutes to ourselves to sip one of intern John-John’s margaritas and bash out something new, here’s a photo of Beau Scott looking like a hilarious old man:


More here

Or if you really can’t bear to be without us for one more day, why don’t you run out and grab the latest issue of Shop til you Drop (with Samantha Harris on the cover!) for some words of wisdom from Sassy:

And to make sure you know when we update, remember you can add us to your google reader or any other RSS-contraption (the RSS is in the left hand column) OR you can add us on bloglovin:

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

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errol’s 12 days of christmas : day seven

December 20th, 2010

What’s that you say? I missed Day 6? SHUT UP. Sassy posted about Stuart Broad being a babe so let’s pretend that was Day 6 okay? Good good.

You’re not getting anything too exciting today either. I have a second day hangover aka the most unfair of all afflictions. I’ve forgotten what an epic punish hangovers are, because this year I’ve turned into a hermit-like old person who has a big night once every 6 months. No joke, I’ve only been Out On The Town twice since July. It’s possible I’m growing up. I know, I’m weirded out too.

On the seventh day of Christmas

Oh Errol gave to me

A baby photo of Miss Kiki….

That’s me at 20 hours old. Two important things to know a) there is no Asian blood in my family so the fact I look like Angelina Jolie is about to adopt me and use me as a prop is a total mystery and b) the nurses in the hospital asked my Mum ‘where in Asia is your husband from?’.

I still look kinda Asian. In Papua New Guinea, Chris Sandow announced over dinner “Kiki….you look Asian. Why do you look Asian?”. I have no answers for you Chris.

Now excuse me while I go and rehydrate. Lots of love, Baby Wong xoxox

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sassy’s grand final wrap-up: only one errol can win

October 5th, 2010

I won’t lie, there was a point – about 15 minutes into the second half of the grand final – where I cried. Not snotty Marley and Me-type crying. It was more a general Brett Morris-esque welling. I promised Kiki before the game that I wouldn’t weep, and I was determined to keep my promise. I’m nothing if not really petty and really stubborn.

I WASN’T CRYING! I JUST HAVE A WELLING PROBLEM!

By that point, all was lost and I knew it and it was heartbreaking. More than once I wished I was watching the game at home so at least I’d be able to listen to Rabs Warren commentate. His voice is just really comforting, and boy did I need comfort. Then Flossy Nightingale scored his second try and I got beer all done the back of my 2009 wooden-spoon jersey from over-excited Dragons fans and the sheer cold shock of being covered in mid-strength beer (they were fresh ones) snapped me back from the crying abyss.

So here’s how the game went down from our seats in the stratosphere.

The view from our seats: I should’ve known this was a bad omen.

SO MANY DRAGONS FANS. Those bitches was everywhere! And who was surprised? After last year, they had to Believe. Their team just had to transfer their skills into the finals series. On the other hand, as a Roosters fan, there’s a reason I didn’t have tickets: Because I’m not insane. I’m only that much of an optimist when I’m drunk or take a knock to the head.

I was expecting maybe … seventh or eighth for my boys. Knocked out first or second round of the finals at best. You know, something respectable, but not excessive. Something to inspire them to keep going for next year. Little did I know that Brian Smith – teeny tiny Smithy of the soothing voice and the dry, dry jokes – was a Rooster-whisperer and my team would start pulling Tigers-2005-style wins off as the season went on. It was like coming out of a hellish breakup (also knownas 2009) fat, acne-covered and depressed, and all of a sudden realising you’ve met the most perfect guy EVER. I was shocked and amazed and delighted.

Is it sad that I’m comparing my footy team to a boyfriend? Probably. But considering I spend Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights with football, it’s pretty accurate.

In the end, it turned out the 2010 Roosters/my new boyfriend weren’t going to have the whole fairytale package. They lost the grand final/he snores … but whatever. They made me happy, and I’m proud. And here’s why I think my babies couldn’t pull it off and Kiki’s dragons could.

GRAND FINALS NEED GRAND FINAL PERFORMANCES. I’m looking at you, Jason ‘Flossy’ Nightingale. The Dragons left-side is always their go-to attack side (shout out to Brett Morris for making the Kangaroos side again!) but with Gasnier back they started moving the ball to Flossy on the right wing, and the Roosters were too tired/demoralised to keep him out. Flossy you little gun! We always believed in you! It totally helped that he wore his lucky boots: those black ones that make it look like he’s a little kid who forgot his boots and had to play in school shoes. Maybe he could get sponsored by Clarks?

Truthfully, we thought he’d take the Churchill medal, but it turns out Joyce still really loves fullbacks (remember her lolz quotes about Billy Slater?), and I’m pretty sure Flossy doesn’t give a shit anyway cause he’s a grand final-winner.

Instead, we got to see Darius Boyd give one of the most unintentionally nerdy speeches ever when he accepted the Clive Churchill. It started with him standing around awkwardly and yelling ‘WOOO!’ and ended with him saying “now let’s go party!” like an American frat boy. Oh, Darius. It was an appropriate speech to hear when the Whitest Team in the NRL had just won a grand final.

Darius bringin cool back to the locker room whut whut

(For the record, not saying they’re white supremacists n stuff, just that they’re literally WHITE. B.Moz, Hornbag, Benny Creagh, you see where I’m going. There’s a lot of milk in the Dragons fridge and not much coffee).

WHAT’S THAT WAYNE BENNETT QUOTE ABOUT A CHAMPION TEAM NOT A TEAM OF CHAMPIONS? Cause yeah … that. I thought Floss was the best on the field and the most improved on the field but I wouldn’t fault any of the others, bar a few rain-related mistakes. Dean Young killed it. Jeremy Smith killed it, while looking like even more of a complete babe than usual.

Exhibit A. Dean Young congratulates Jeremy Smith on winning a non-tainted premiership and being a dirty spunk.

Weyman killed it, while he was on the field. Which reminds me, I refuse to believe Daniel Conn came in with a swinging arm until I see it. I also plan to never watch the replay, so Daniel Conn is innocent. The end. QED.

And lastly, TWO HOOKERS ARE BETTER THAN ONE. At least that’s what Charlie Sheen says. Boom tish! With the beauty of hindsight, 80 minutes of Jake Friend was no match for Dean Young and Nathan Fien. They were too sharp and speedy and his defence got too soft. Sad but true. I wouldn’t say any of my boys had shockers. They just didn’t bring the spark: they were a six when – at times this year – they’ve been a nine. Two words: next year.

Oh, and maybe a few more words: STILL FEEL KINDA PISSY YOU DIDN’T COME TO THE ROOSTERS, WAYNE. HMPH.

Wanna know WHAT WE DID?


The UDL really brings out Yassy’s classy side.

Through a massive stroke of luck, we had tickets to the game, and the always fabulous Yasmin came with us, even though her two favourite players Moonie Vanoodie and Jarrod Yee-Hah weren’t playing. It probably helped that she has dirty crushes on Todd Carney and Ben Creagh, though. She sat between us, and even let me lay my head on her shoulder in despair in the second half. Usually she doesn’t much care for being touched, so thank you Yas!

After the game, while the Indian Roosters fan in front of us openly wept and was consoled by his girlfriend, we decided the best way to celebrate Kiki’s win, drown my sorrows and avoid train queues was to head to the Olympic Park pub and drink UDLs and dance to a covers band. Nothing cures sadness like dancing to Footloose and some comforting hugs from random Roosters fans and kindly Dragons while Kiki can-can dances around the pub. The general theme of the night from Drags fans was: BUT YOU GUYS DID SO WELL THIS YEAR! CONGRATULATIONS!

Kiki’s Grand Final headpiece (she made it herself!) both entertained and confused drunk people.

Next stop: The Beach Road Hotel for Kiki to gloat at Roosters fans. The only problem was that everyone there was so pissed they thought she was wearing Roosters colours.

And lastly: a drink and a pizza with our mate Shorto from the Jacksonville Axemen. Love you Shorto! Say hi to your dad for us!

I can’t express how much I adore every single Rooster for rebuilding us back into a team to be proud of this year. They finished second but it’s not enough of a reward for everything they did. All I can say is that seeing this broke my heart. It hurt even more than seeing Fitzy leave for the English Super League with a wooden spoon and a 16-point loss to the Cowboys, urgh.

And just as I was about to fume about Mark Gasnier sailing back in to get a Premiership ring, he stepped in to comfort Frank-Paul the Wrecking Ball:

Two words: NEXT YEAR. Next year, my darlings.

All pics: Getty Images

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ciao, errol!

September 30th, 2010

I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS. I SLEPT FOR NINE HOURS LAST NIGHT.

Which means it’s the first time in like six days I’ve slept through the night. It’s also the reason why I finally have the strength to open my laptop and write an Errol post. It’s an apology post, really.

You see Kiki and I have been a bit absent lately. And by ‘lately’, yes, I do mean for four weeks. HOW DID YOU COPE WITHOUT US?

If you follow our twitters (the Errol one is linked right over there on the left hand side of the page, off you go, have a look) you’ll know that I had a four week holiday planned, and our Kiki had an amazing chance to go to Papua New Guinea on tour with the Prime Minister’s XIII.

I know, I know, how could I plan a holiday during finals time? But tell me, honestly, could you resist the chance to go swimming in this?

And thanks to the magic that they call the interwebs, I got to watch live game streaming on NRL Fix on my little white laptop in the middle of random Italian piazzas. For some reason there’s no proper internet reception actually INSIDE buildings. Who knows why. It’s Italy. Most stuff is broken/slow/erratic/moody/late, it’s part of the whole country’s charm.

The only problem is that Italians don’t really understand why a random white girl from Australia is sitting screaming at a computer. When Mini scored against the Panthers I may have yelled OH MY GOD GO MINI GO MINI GO MINI! like an insane person.

And when the waiter and ten other patrons looked at me quizzically I felt all uncomfortable and awkward and instead of saying “oh, I’m sorry, I’m watching sport”, instead for some reason I said “HE’S ITALIAN”. As though that explains it all. He’s Italian. Really, Sassy?

Oh yeah. Sassy is now officially awkward in TWO DIFFERENT LANGUAGES.

But the important thing is we’re back. Kiki will be blogging about her life-changing experiences in Papua New Guinea, and we’ll be posting some pretty damn dramatic stuff about the Grand Final … it’s Errol civil war, after all. Kiki’s Dragons vs Sassy’s Roosters. Here’s the before picture of two happy best friends and footy fans:

Now get ready for what happens after Sunday. Good to be back, darlings xx

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rugby league player, anyone?

August 5th, 2010

We guest-edited a magazine. It’s out now! They have it at Borders!

There’s a Roosters Club in Focus special, Hindy, Jamie Soward, Michael Jennings, Lote, Jamal, Duges, Gordie, MG + Carty … look it’s just awesome, okay? And if you love us at all, you’ll buy it.

And as a loving tribute to our cover star, Hindy, here’s a little story I ripped off from Errol bestie Joker’s Wild:

I went down to the NSW training session at Kingscliff this year and got some autographs from some of the lads.

While I was waiting to get Hindys scribble, a little kid stuck his jersey up and said “Can you sign this?”
Hindy said “Can I sign that
what?”
Kid said “Can you sign this
please?”

Hindy: Gentleman, footballer and teacher of common manners

Love ya Jokers, love ya Hindy.

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introducing: the heart of the game

June 17th, 2010

GUYS WE HAVE EXCITING NEWS. If you completed the survey we sent around a while ago, or are a subscriber to the NRL One Community website you would’ve seen the first ever issue of the brand new newsletter The Heart of the Game appear in your inbox today.

Exciting! It’s so shiny and new and pretty. We’ve been contributing content for the first issue and there is so, so much good stuff in there:

We talked to Nathan Hindmarsh – one of the nominees for favourite son this year

We interviewed Alan Tongue

We ran into your fave, Dave Williams

We met the first ever Good Girl of the Month Darlene Maher, who’s trekking Kokoda for charity

We also interviewed the gorgeous Kristy Prince

And we talked to Women in League ambassadors Anna Cesarano, Catherine Britt,  and Barbara Pfeiffer

How good is it? So good. But you can’t get all the awesomeness unless you subscribe, so make sure you go and sign up. Go go go!

CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE

More importantly, why don’t you do your bit and become breast aware? One Community and the McGrath Foundation want to make 10,000 men and women breast aware before the end of women in league round. All you have to do is click on the giant heart. You know you want to. Who doesn’t love boobs? No one, that’s who.


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two footy teams and a wedding

March 24th, 2010

As you know Kiki and I love spending our weekends roaming about at NSW Cup matches, soaking up the atmosphere, sharing a beer (just the one, cause we’re professional), and interviewing the crowd and the players. This weekend we hit up Leichhardt Oval to watch the Balmain Ryde Eastwood Tigers take on Wests. Why Leichhardt? Well obviously we like any opportunity for a Tim Sheens sighting. But more importantly:

a) it’s beautiful and we think the hill with all the trees on it looks like something out of Rivendell in Lord of the Rings;

and

b) We wanted to appease all the ladies who wrote in to say LEE BENNETT FROM THE TIGERS IS SOOOO HANDSOME. We like to give you what you want. We’re considerate like that.

So here’s the latest video direct from the NSWRL youtube channel, featuring Lee, Paul Sironen, some enthusiastic singing, and A Really Awesome Bride and Groom:

Leave a comment why don’t ya?

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erroltips winners board: round two

March 22nd, 2010

Oh my sweet baby Morris-twin Jesus, it’s a FOOTY MIRACLE.


mmmmmm miracle.

Somehow – I have absolutely no idea how – I have fluked myself to my first perfect round of tipping …. ever. Eight out of eight, bitches! This means, of course, that footytips is giving me a free Whopper. Which I totally plan to collect, even though:

a) there are no Hungry Jacks near me except the one I go to when I’m drunk on Oxford Street opposite the Oxford Art Factory

b) I don’t like Whoppers.

It’s the principle of the thing, you know?

Also if you break it down by calories, it’s pretty much like footytips are giving me a whole day’s worth of free food, which for a blogger is the greatest gift a footy tipping website can give. So yes, I am going to that Hungry Jacks, and yes, friends, I am going to EAT. THAT. WHOPPER. I am also going to enjoy it … because it tastes like VICTORY.

In other news, Errol tippers are apparently all brilliant, because:

Paull Young

Paul Taylor

ohmyloz

and Amy

all also got 8 tips from 8. Some might say that’s because it was an easy round. I say it’s because we all have the brains of rocket scientists. If you’re wondering why Kiki didn’t manage to tip a perfect eight, it’s because she tipped against my Roosters. Just sayin. Which brings us to the leaderboard after round two:

Finally, one of the boys has made it into the top five! Good work Youngie!

This will probably be the first and last time I am ever first in tipping, so let’s all take a moment of silence for the peak of my tipping career. It’s gonna be all downhill for me after this. Like Kate Hudson after Almost Famous and Katherine Heigl after Knocked Up.

And now I’m gonna leave you with the NRL Ladder:

I was planning to draw a big red white and blue arrow to the Roosters at the top of it, but then I realised it’s round two and I don’t want to jinx the poor bitches, so … that’s all.

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monday funday: get your bitch on

March 21st, 2010

We’re doing something a little different this week. Instead of shirtless men for your Monday Funday, let’s talk about the pink-shirted men: the refs and the touchies. You know, the ones that you always unwillingly clap before the Grand Final each year. From the perma-bronzed Solarium king Shane Hayne to everyone’s favourite ranga ref, Brett Suttor.

Yelling abuse at referees and touch-judges is a time-honoured rugby league tradition. At Parramatta, it involves small children yelling out ‘I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, TOUCHIE!’. At Kogarah, I’ve heard “oh good work … ya hemorrhoid!” which has to be one of my favourite moments in life. Ever.

And when the game’s over, you head to the leagues club and discuss in depth all the ways that the refs cost your team the game, right? Well let’s do it online.

Sunday’s games were a festival of tries from forward passes – like Benji Marshall to Jason Schirnack for a try against the Roosters at the SFS. Plus over in Parramatta everyone’s favourite head of hair Dessie Hasler CRACKED IT after Manly lost to the Eels and the refs awarded a try to Joel Reddy from a blatant forward pass. EVEN I COULD SEE THAT, REF! (And as we all know I need nerd spectacles).


Exhibit A – nerd

Dessie kindly offered – cough – this:

“I’ll personally pay for those two touchies to visit OPSM and get a check-up because I didn’t know we’d reverted to gridiron – not once, but twice – at a pretty critical part of the game.”

So get in and comment, kids. Worst refs call of the year so far? Worst of 2009? Get into the comments section and unleash your anger. You can even have a rant about Monday/your work/the fact that we never ever blog about your team. A little venting heals the soul.

And if getting your bitch on isn’t your style … here are some cats that look like Hitler.

Enjoy x

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friday partytimes: what you get is what you see

March 5th, 2010

So the NRL launch this week didn’t just involve your team captains standing awkwardly in front of Sydney landmarks. It also involved a Brand New NRL ad. It has everything you could want, if what you want is lady-farmers, a sculptor, an old man at a busstop and stuff about FEELING ALIVE. Comment and tell us what you think, why don’t ya?

Alternatively, if you don’t care, watch this awesome NRL promo from 1989, also known as SASSY’S FAVOURITE YOUTUBE VIDEO EVER. (It really is, I have it bookmarked and everything):

Happy Friday darlings!

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