You’ve been on the edge of your seats waiting for the Oh Errol Awards winners post, right? I imagine it’s the same sort of anticipation we’re experiencing waiting for 17 Again. And just like how we’re dyyying to see Zeffie in the full glory of his Ed Hardy getup, our fanz are dyyying for these results. Who is the Fattest Man in League? Who will take out Best Hair? The time has come, babies.
But wait, you haven’t announced the Matt Cooper Award for Hottest Bitch in League nominees!?
DAMMIT. You kids and your eye for awards categories – we were hoping you wouldn’t notice. Look, we totally tried to write it. For reals. And then this happened:
After taking one look at Hot Bitch Cooper naked with a footy strategically placed under his perfectly sculpted man-v, we realised no one can ever beat (unless he asked nicely) that and the category was therefore null and void. NULL AND VOID PEOPLE.
So after many long, hard (tee hee) nights of drinking straight from the bottle decision making, we finally present to you:
THE OH ERROL AWARDS 2008 WINNERS
Granted, we are totally biased because he’s our beloved intern…but still. How can we go past the jiggling wonder that is Danny Wicks? His gut is HYPNOTIC.
Okay so he isn’t actually THAT ranga. He’s no bloodnut. More of a ginge than anything. But we have to give Monas this award. He needs some love. Why? Check out his appearance in ‘leading football groupie’ Charmyne Palavi’s News Ltd album:
UNKNOWN MAN. UNKNOWN….MAN. This year alone Monas has played great first grade footy for the Raiders, the Country team, New South Wales AND Australia. Apparently this fact has escaped the gallery compiler. Poor Monas…all that footy and he’s still The Unknown Man. Well not to us! He is the recipient of THE BIGGEST RANGA IN LEAGUE! We love you Monas.
Ohhh this was a toughie. But at the end of the day we had to give it to Scotty for the whole My Hero Reads Too thing, among other reasons.
When Davey attacked his hair with scissors in a drunken post Grand Final haze, we all cried some sad sad tears. NOT THE HAIR DAVEY…NOT.THE.HAAAAAIR. For the sake of this award, we are going to pretend that that horrific event never happened. Let us honour the amazing work he (and his hair) did during the year.
Dave has the trifecta of awesome hair. Colour, volume and length. It’s godamn perfect hair. Those natural white blonde highlights? AMAZING. The Errol team is completely obsessed with everything 70s’ and Davey’s hair perfectly epitomises the awesomness of that decade. We hope he grows it back as soon as humanly possible.
Bitch had to win something this year.
HE’S JOHN KITE. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY? Ok granted, this was a tough category too, but the passport story won our hearts and locked this win in.
The Oh Errol Awards will be back next year with a whole new batch of nominees! Or possibly just the same ones as this year with moustaches drawn on to trick you all into thinking they’re different. Coz we’re crafty like that.
IMPORTANT – the ridiculously amazing photo of Hot Bitch is from the brilliant Gods of Football calendar. Don’t be dodgy and rely on scans, go and buy the calendar yourself! We have multiple copies. It’s for a great cause. Let’s support the players for getting nakey for charity and support the brilliant work that the McGrath Foundation does.
So go HERE and find out where you can purchase one. Do it now. NOW NOW NOW!