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You can't fool us, Photo Whores.

May 11th, 2008

As much as I love the Internets and am eternally grateful for the joy I find on here – good friends, Lolcats, piracy, Zefron.com etc. – there’s a lot of things that really baffle me about it. One of those is people who share pictures of themselves accompanied with a supposed ‘modest’ comment to throw us off the trail of possible narcissism. You know the type – photos which are are obviously handpicked and not chosen at random out of a pile, posted with captions such as “omg I look like such a dork”, “ahh I look like I’m picking my nose! how embarrassing”, or my personal fave, use of the ‘embarrassed’ smiley face. If it were that embarrassing, fug or revealing of nose-picking habits you (‘you’ meaning the General Internet Population and not anyone specific. Well, no one that I’d admit to in a public space.) wouldn’t be uploading it up for POTENTIALLY ANYONE ON THE INTERNET TO SEE.

Surely with MySpace and Facebook being a part of most of our lives we should all be comfortable with sharing photos of ourselves (well, those of you who don’t fall into a deep pool of self-hatred over most pics of your mug like myself, but I digress) minus the faux modesty? If you’re already OK with sharing lots of photos of yourself the self-deprecating caption underneath is not going to prove to us that you’re actually super down-to-earth and modest. And though some people do have the gift of being down-to-earth AND photo whores, those people can usually freely admit that about themselves. Because it’s fine to be vain. Lots of people are. Embrace it, bitches.

Along the same line, I think we should ban self-portraits of people ‘taking naps’ and ‘drinking tea’ and ‘writing essays’, all presented as though they are spur of the moment photos. When it comes to having to set your camera’s self-timer, it’s not spur of the moment and most likely never was. Also, I barely want to read about someone doing those things (or at all really, unless it’s someone I’m creepily obsessed with) let alone see accompanying photos. Unless you’re Ryan Adams, in which case photos of nothing are encouraged and preferred.