errol fantasy league: round 15

Rep footy is messing with our fantasy teams like you would not believe. Even after I’d shuffled things around to try and accomodate those playing Origin, both the Hotties and the Wildcats were down like 8+ players this week due to all the byes. Shit is ridic. Of course, if we were more inclined to recruit players from the entire NRL and not just a few of our fave teams (sup Dragons!), we might be better off. Whatever. Equality is for losers.

Speaking of Origin, I’d like to talk about my cat for a bit. On Tuesday night my dad bought a carton of XXXX (gross, I know) and it came with a little maroons footy. I wanted to see what my born and bred QLDer cat would do with it, which I guessed wouldn’t be much since her favourite toy is a rolled up piece of tinfoil and this was bigger than her head, so I put it in front of her and she BIT ME. EVEN MY CAT HATES QLD! And everyone knows you can’t argue with cats.

Lawyer Cat has it on good authority that QLD are hateful

pic: Stefanie Craig

THE WILDCATS

Poor Wildcats. 407 points. With the Dragons not playing we were missing Big Dell, Hot Bitch, B.Moz, Hornbag, Tiny Dancer, Benny Creagh and Dean Young. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Those who actually ended up scoring for the Wildcats include Love Shack, baby Blake Ayshford, T.Camps, Jamal Idris, Daine Laurie, Rhys Hanbury, and new Wildcats recruits Ben ‘The Pom’ Pomeroy and Sir Alan Tongue.

Just to clarify – that’s EIGHT scoring players. Eight! I shake my fist at bye weeks, and I shake it good.

THE HOTTIE MCHOTHOTS

The Hotties were slightly better off than the Wildcats with 11 players actually, you know, playing. Unforch we were down some of our hottest best scorers – Hot Bitch AGAIN, J.Poore, Luke O’Donnell, Heighno…I would go on but my pants can’t handle it. Pants = sad. We is sadvag.

Thanks to some bright young stars, such as Blake Ayshford and Trevor ‘Sex Machine’ Thurling, the Hotties ended up with 571 points. And this just happened to be the 4th highest score in the league. GO HOTTIES GO!

This week the Hotties are playing Pete ‘hatecushion’ Murrell’s team the Special Kids. This makes us laugh because Pete thinks the Errol girls are ‘not funny and not hot’. You know who IS hot (and probably funny since they are footy players)? THE HOTTIE MCHOTHOTS, BITCH.

JADEWATCH

I was gunna let it slip under the radar, but we didn’t do a fantasy post last week. SOZ. So since this is a bit of a nothing week in terms of fantasy, I’m just gunna post Jade’s Tiny Dancer rundown from LAST week. God we’re professional.

This week the Tiny Dancers managed to get up past the 900 mark once again… finally! Captain David Stagg scored a wonderful 144, followed by Hot Bitch on 95 and Nathan Friend on 94. Good work team! Darren Lockyer was auto-emerged and scored 18. OF COURSE YOU DID LOCKYER. Why is he so shit most of the time? If only Goodwin was put in instead, his 81 would have been must more beneficial. The Tiny Dancers finished on a comfortable 924 points, and will hopefully break the 1000 mark next round.

Here’s to all of us breaking 1000 this week.