errol fantasy league – round two

You’ve probably been wondering about this all week, right? Thinking, my god, what’s happened in the Errol Experiment? I must know!

Well, no matter how much you’ve thought about it, you are probably nowhere near as nerdy as I am.  I have become honest-to-god obsessed.  In my defence: this fantasy league business is ridiculously complicated and time-consuming and involved and I’M JUST REALLY COMMITTED TO BEING A SUPERCOACH, OK? 

In fantasy league I’m a forward …nyeh!

On Saturday I found myself watching the football and when one of our players yoinked an opposition ball from the air I actually yelled INTERCEPT! Intercepts are extra points in fantasy league!  I was so excited I almost fell off my chair. Clearly I have very little in my life and you can feel free to pity me. 

ANYWAY. Let’s get down to bizniss.

THE WILDCATS

I had a revelation during the week – by which I mean someone reminded me – that there is a totally awesome movie from the eighties where my idol Goldie Hawn becomes the coach of a high school football team despite knowing nothing about football. High-jinks and redemption ensue.  And it’s called WILDCATS.  

So if you’re wondering what I get up to during the week when we’re coaching our team of Wildcats … it pretty much looks like this:

I wear a little whistle and grey marle and  teach them dance routines and they call me Coach Sassy.  It’s awesome. Robbie Farah is quite the dancer, if you’re wondering. He’s got a great shimmy.

Meanwhile I did crack the shits at one point this week after the Roosters’ round one loss to the Raiders. I had a mini-tanty and instead of just eating or drinking my feelings like I usually do, I took it out on the boys by booting Craig Fitzgibbon from the team and replacing him with Nathan Hindmarsh.  (Sorry Fitzy. You know I don’t mean it when I get angry, baby).  

And with Cap’n Hindmarsh having an amaaazing game the Wildcats made it to 856 points.

THE HOTTIE MCHOTHOTS

First of all, as far as I know there is no movie called ‘The Hottie McHothots’ and that is a massive shame. There should be.

This week our team of Hottie McHots brushed their hair 100 times and really lifted their games. Captain Matt Cooper obviously gave some excellent motivation because Steve Price scored 91 points on his HMH debut, and John-John Williams and Joel Moon had crackers too.

Altogether the Hottie McHothots made it to an incredible 773 points. 

They’re still coming last in the league, but maybe that’s because they have low self-esteem because people keep implying they’re halfwits.  Hmmmm? I BELIEVE IN YOU BOYS.

THEORIES SO FAR?

Likeability still has it all over attractiveness. As a shallow person, let’s just say this experiment is not panning out the way I’d hoped/expected.