exclusive errol semi-finals update: manly edition

Judging by his awesome efforts the other day, it seems our little Lachie is turning into quite the photographer. And with Cameron ‘Lindy Chamberlain’ Smith and Sonny Bill Feelings dominating the papers we thought maybe it’s also a good time to get the focus back on … you know, footy.

Semi-finals week is finally here and we are all tres excited.  Only two teams we dislike left in the competition!  Wheee!

This weekend the Bearded Warriors take on the Sea Eagles, and yes, we will be there at the footy stadium, cheering on … well cheering on everyone.  We kinda love Manly and the Warriors, to be honest.  We are just that full of love.  Like Mother Theresa.  Or Jesus.

And with the recent run of Warriors form we are not at all certain who will take it out.  That’s why we sent little Lachie over the spit bridge to try and find out what’s happening in Camp Hasler and see if he can help us all out with our tips.

Looking over the negatives this morning, we realised Dessie, as always, is doing something secret and tricksy and Dessish. That’s why his hair is so big. It’s full of secrets.

I’ve heard it said that when your team has a week off during finals, with no game to fire them up, it’s easy for training to taper off in intensity, and the training routine to start to seem dull. Not for Dessie’s boys.

David ‘Hot Garbo’ Williams and Steve ‘high-pants’ Bell were sent to join the Dee Why garbos on their morning run before yesterday’s session. Lifting bins for strength work, chasing the truck for cardio, enduring the stench for team bonding. Unconventional and brilliant. And don’t the bitches look sharp in their council-issue vests? Sure it’s a little 2006 electro, but you can’t deny Des knows his fashionz.

Anthony Watmough was keen to work on his strength, so went the tried and tested Venice Beach route (midriff top and all) and spent the morning on weights.

Lookin sharp Watmough!

And the Beav. Oh Beaver, either you’re in the Dessy bad books or you drew the short straw. No one deserves to be sent to play over 30s mixed netball. I can’t decide whether that expression translates as ‘*$#%# netball’ or ‘eh? what is this contraption? I’m too old for this kind of malarky. Suyin, where are my stewed prunes?’

I’m gonna go with the second one. Because I don’t think the Beaver would swear. However, I do apparently think he talks like an elderly Jewish man now. WHATEVER.

GI Matt Ballin didn’t get sent anywhere, because quite simply, bitch didn’t need to. GI Ballin is trained to perform. SOLDIERS DON’T GET DISTRACTED, SIR! I LOVE TRAINING, SIR! PLEASE, SIR, CAN I HAVE SOME MORE?

… and we wish we could bring you some updates on Brett ‘the Snake’ Stewart, but sadly it seems he got lost mid-afternoon and never made it to training at all. If Mama Stewart is reading he’s currently at Register 3 Coles Manly waiting to be collected. He says his name is Brett, he is five, and he lives in a blue house in Sydney, the world, the universe.

Happy gambling!

All pics: Getty Images