Footy Observations of the Week

This week I was planning on recapping the Roosters v Eels Friday night clash. Sadly it turned out to be one of the most boring games ever (apart from every game the Canberra Raiders have played in since approx 1991. Whatever ever happened to the Green Machine?? Those were good days). Anyway, this game was mind numbingly bad. Even the chookies obsessed Sassy nodded off on the lounge around an hour in. Granted that could have been due to the copious amounts of white wine she consumed that afternoon, but my point still stands.

I did watch my baby Dragons inexplicably beat the Storm but my viewing conditions were more than slightly compromised. I don’t trust myself to do an accurate recap as -

a) I watched it on TV at the greyhound races. And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t so much ‘TV’ as much as projected onto a giant piece of fabric hung on the wall.

b) I was under the influence of numerous Tooheys News

c) There was no sound

d) I kept running out periodically to watch the dogs run (I won 28 bucks. I’m pretty much a gambling genius.)

So! This week I am going to share my Footy Observations of the Week….in point form, because I am a literary genius.

* One sleep until Origin! I agree wholeheartedly with everything Sassy said in her brilliant post. I would like to point out that although she is prone to exaggeration (one of her many charms), this time she is entirely accurate. Queenslanders really are self mythologising fantasists.

There was an article in the Herald yesterday wired in from the northern wasteland carefully detailing the training habits of the Maroons. Apparently they are such Geniune Blokes they train in suburban parks next to scrappy gap toothed orphans. Because they are one with the People, salt of the earth and mate…they are just REAL okay?? Unlike those wicked Blues! They have the nerve to train inside a stadium. Sheltering themselves from the People in their fortress of cold steel. Steel and money.

Queenslanders are proud of their obsession with Origin, and the fact they usually sell out every game every year. We Sydneysiders are passionless bastards donchaknow? We don’t care about our team. We are far too busy sipping lattes, discussing property prices and being generally shallow to get to every game, every year. Or maybe, just maybe it’s because in Queenslander going to the footy is the cultural event of the year. And they are far too self obsessed to see this truth. Surely not!

* Sonny Bill is threatening to go to rugby again. Jesus christ this kid is testing my last nerve. Don’t get me wrong, I like watching him play… his shoulder charge is delightfully violent and regularly satisfies my bloodlust. However, bitch needs to make up his mind. He has more mood changes than an unmedicated Britney. Within 10 days he has expressed an urge to be a Strong Leader for the Polynesian kids in rugby league, play State of Origin and to also be captain of the All Blacks. All noble pursuits but Sonny, my love… you can’t have it all.

I know Origin is the greatest competition in the game and you wanna have a go and believe me I would love to see you out there in a blue jumper demolishing Carl Webbs face with your shoulder, but honey listen carefully – you are a New Zealander. You have played for your country, numerous times. You are covered in Polynesian tattoos (they are hot btw, keep doing that) and most importantly you have the strongest Kiwi accent I’ve ever heard. We can’t change the rules just because you waaaaanna plaaaaay. You are acting like a spoilt child and I for one am heartily sick of it. Now just shut up, take your shirt off and go sit in the corner where I can see you. Ah yes, much better.

* Gasnier is also threatening to go to rugby. What the hell is going on with these two?? Isn’t being two of the most highly paid and highly lauded players in the game enough? Shit is getting ridiculous. Now I have always loved Gaz. He has a football pedigree like no other, is the captain of my team and the mighty Red V looks damn good on him. Good and RIGHT. Because he is a GASNIER and is meant to play league. Forever! If he goes to union it will be like a Waugh brother playing baseball. The wrongness is beyond comprehension.

My love for Gaz has been tested this past week. Apparently he wants to go play French union because his Australian sponsors owe him some money and they just wont pay up. I don’t really understand why this means he has to not only leave the Dragons, but leave the code AND the country? Can’t lawyers sought these things out? That’s what they do isn’t it? WHAT IS GOING ON.

The details are all very vague and I’m trying my best not to draw conclusions of him being a soley motivated by cash. However…its damn hard not to think that.

Both Sonny Bill and Gaz are emotionally manipulating their clubs, the game of ruby league and its fans. Yes you guys are immensely talented and valued members of our game, but we can survive without you. Don’t laud your talent over us. Stop pretending like you are doing us a huge favour by staying and gracing us with your presence. If you want to go…JUST GO. For chrissake make a decision and let us have some peace.

Wow, I get a bit emotional don’t I? Yes I am from New South Wales and I feel emotion. Crazy!

GO THE BLUES!!