i just can't get you out of my wigs
July 29th, 2008This may just be both the most brilliant and heartbreaking thing I’ve ever read.
Kylie Minogue was shocked and surprised when she discovered a fan backstage crying into one of her wigs.
The mystery man found his way into her dressing room while the singer was performing at London’s O2 Arena on Saturday.
He is believed to have gained entry after convincing security guards he was her stylist, reports the Daily Star.
But kind-hearted Kylie, 40, refused to let minders call the police.
She’s said to have posed for a picture with the fan before he left peacefully.
Most brilliant because that first sentence is freaking HILAR and made my working day significantly brighter. He was CRYING into one of her WIGS. Most heartbreaking because, well…he was CRYING into one of her WIGS. Aww bb. Come ‘ere, put your Hand on Your Heart and Confide In Me.
Celeb obsessions are kind of my specialty and I wholeheartedly support having one, or many (just as long as it’s not someone boring like Alba). In fact I’m baffled by those who go through life without them. What do people do for fun if they’re not trawling through caps of footy player’s bums or flittering about at zefron.com? If you know, email us. Intern Brownie has had a bit of excitement lately and he could do with some nice quiet email monitoring at Errol HQ.
As much as I support being a crazy fan, obviously there’s a fine line between what’s healthy and what’s not (because what is this blog about if not accurate psychological advice? We are pretty much professionals. Professionals at BEING AWESOME. And judging from that I am also a comedy genius, y/y?).
I think the key to not crossing the line is to remain distant from your chosen celeb. No trying to get up close and personal, no fanmail saying how their lyrics/movies/writing ~saved you~, no sending gifts. I am SERIOUS about that last one guys. Amy Sedaris is too:
But sometimes fans will send me weird shit, and I just get a bad vibe from the box immediately. Very seldom do I keep anything a fan sends me. I mean like, people who read an article saying that I like taxidermy, so they’d send me something. That kind of weird shit. But they don’t know me at all. And so then I’ll respond. I’ll write them back, and if they write me back, I never write them back because it’s like, I did it once, whatever. Or, if they send me pictures and I don’t know them.
Be as creepy as you want, lord knows I’m not opposed to that, but keep it to yourself yo. Or you know, only share it with close friends who get it or strangers on the Internet.*
Also, I love that the story says he ‘left peacefully’, like he’s a wild bear. I’ve heard if you curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted by a Kylie fan, they’ll leave peacefully.
*None of this applies to people I like. Kiki’s friend Kate has a Barnsey tattoo and showed it to him in person. This I totally approve of.
kiki
sassy
lozzy
interns
first of all:
Also, I love that the story says he ‘left peacefully’, like he’s a wild bear. I’ve heard if you curl up in a ball and remain motionless when confronted by a Kylie fan, they’ll leave peacefully.
BAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
second of all I was there for the tattoo incident and he totally loved it! I was even sober at the time so I know I didn’t drunkenly hallucinate that he then invited us to drink his rider (now that he’s sober and has no need for it).
TRUE STORY.
bahahah awwww this is so heartwarming. kylie is kind of a saint.
Aw, Kylie is so nice… shucks.
I still want to know if the guy was upset on finding out it wasn’t her real hair… or just overcome that he was so close to his idol?
No way I would be that nice to a stalker.. er, I mean fan… who had found their way into MY PRIVATE ROOM!!
Oops, forgot to enter my name ^^^ That’s me, not the hate-mailing anonymous…
Another hilarious post Miss Lozzy. Also loving the cheeky AD reference.
The closest I’ve ever got to stalking was when I went to Jewish Book Week a few years ago because from daily google searches I found out a writer I had a crush on was going to be there. I dressed as Margo Tenenbaum with fur coat and dark eyeliner and made one of my Jewish writer friends come with me for authenticity. I wimped out going to say hello to him though, but afterwards we did drive to the other side of town to Brick Lane in the wee hours just so we could go to Jewish bakery and eat a bagel (to team with the Jewish theme).
That’s so funny!
Um, i love the Sedaris family, and in a few weeks i shall be going to a book reading by David Sedaris. So here is a long story that has no relevance in reality to your awesome post.
I wand him to write something innapropriate in the book i’m taking to get signed. I read a story about a girl who drove for ages to go to his reading, and got her book signed. She had a towel with her, and he asked why. She explained that she kept it in her car and she had just had a long trip.
She walked away and he had written in her book:
Q. Who keeps a towel in their car?
A. A Slut.
BAHAHHA. that is amazing. also where is this book reading that i am just now hearing about?
By the way, if i ever get to the point where i’m caught crying into the XXXL jockstrap or worn spanx of a certain Footy Player Who Shall Remain Nameless in the changerooms … no, don’t worry. I’ll kill myself before that happens.
I can imagine that Amy would get some BATSHIT CRAZY fans. I mean, she already appeals to us and we’re on the mild end of the spectrum, imagine the housebound cat loving prosthetics wearing freaks who love her.
Re: the face-shirts.
Are they fans of the Baldwins? Look. Third from the left is Billy, two along from that is Stephen in ‘Threesome’ and far right is Alec.
God I hate myself.
Wait, arent there only like, 4 Baldwins?
I’M SO SCARED FOR YOU.
You’re projecting your love of the Baldwin brothers onto innocent t-shirts!
I know that i’m seeing him in brisbane on the 20th of August. And the ticket is TWELVE shiny dollars. I appreciate things that are cheap and yet will be awesome.
I think he also in Sydney and Melbourne in association with various writing festivals. Around the 18th onwards of August.
I didn’t have a baldwin or whatever the jesus those shirts are, but i did have a Beverley Hills 90210 shirt.
That meant i was cool, right?
RIGHT?
I HAD A 90210 SHIRT TOO! we are awesome.
ooh maybe i’ll pop in to the brisbane one. 12 bucks for a sedaris cannot be missed.
“I can imagine that Amy would get some BATSHIT CRAZY fans. I mean, she already appeals to us and we’re on the mild end of the spectrum, imagine the housebound cat loving prosthetics wearing freaks who love her.”
yeah i remember reading that david said you can always tell which fans are amy’s by how ugly they are.
alec
billy
stephen
daniel
… but then who are the other two baldwins?
GOD I’m so confused.
Sassy, thanks to wikipedia, i just discovered that there are two Baldwin SISTERS. Four brothers, two sisters – six t-shirts. Coincidence?
Wait, why am i typing ‘Baldwin Brothers’ into Wikipedia?
What have you people done to me!?
two of them DO LOOK LIKE GIRLS.
omg they really are the baldwins.
don’t you dare blame me though, it was entirely sam who brought up the baldwin matter.
GUYS DONT SCARE ME. I can handle serial killers, rapists, what have you …
But to know there are people roaming the earth in Baldwin brothers shirts AND THEIR SISTERS is too much for me to handle. Too much!
i cant wait till errol takes off and our fans spray paint our faces on t shirts.
I AM known for my making shirts of people i love. I have a shirt with Margaret Pomeranz on it.
On a sidenote, i was looking for your facebook group when i discovered that there is an asian guy called Errol Oh.
I’m going to spraypaint HIS face on my shirt.
It’s fate! I think one of you should marry him
And if none of you are prepared to marry Errol Oh. I WILL.
it would be a good name for you if you ever decide to move into porn …
Kitty OOOOOOOOH!
Or, a collection agency that gets money back from cats.
Kitty OH’s
HAHAH
I dont think Errol would want me.
It’s a comforting thought – thanks girls.
Right then. Will let you know when we set the date.
You can all be bridesmaids with Baldwin t-shirts. Sam – you can hand out the order of service
BAHAHAH bec. kitty oh’s. ah lolz.
i regret using that pic btw
HAHAHAHAHAH
omg u guys. i literally loled and now have wetness in my eyes. amazing.
Hand out your own damn order of service.
I’ll be busy with the Baldwin girls…
*gips*
Oh scary. that photo of kylie in leather with the man servants is bit Abu Ghraib no?!