men we love: andrew lauterstein
August 18th, 2008In posting about my Olympics Boyfriend Ryan Lochte (who I’ll admit has since been kind of forgotten amongst all the Aussie Olympics highs. Worst imaginary girlfriend evs), the lovely Hazy diverted our attentions to a cuter, homegrown and just all-round fucking adorable curly-haired swimmer Andrew Lauterstein. HOW’S THAT FOR A NAME?

pic: ninemsn.com.au

pic: goldcoast.com.au
“We’re going to give the Americans a good shake, hopefully stop Phelpsy from getting his eighth gold.”
I love that he’s taken to calling him Phelpsy. It’s all “bitch I don’t care how many medals and records you have, Ima treat you the same way I do my mates”. So Aus.

best pic ever: abc.net.au
Andypants follows this up by being completely gracious and adorable:
Meanwhile Lauterstein could scarcely believe taking the bronze in such a great race.
“It felt like I was dreaming,” said Lauterstein.
“It was the type of thing I was dreaming about last night. I knew I could be up there fishing for a medal and it is just amazing.
“Words cannot comprehend how I am feeling at the moment.
“It was just a great race to be part of, an absolute spectacle.”
Aww4Eva at him dreaming about being up on the podium (I think he probably meant daydreaming rather than sleepytimes dreaming, but I like the mental image of him curled up in bed, with visions of beating Phelpsy dancing around his head) WHY U SO CUTE ANDREW? Btw you just know Phelps is the type who insists he doesn’t dream. I bet he sleeps in some kind of water chamber like when Casper Van Dien is recovering from battle injury in Starship Troopers.
I think what I find most lovable though is that he posed for Cleo Bachelor of the Year, and kind of hated it:
“But I’m happy for my Cleo Bachelor of the Year run to go under the radar.”
Lauterstein said he found his photos less than flattering. “As soon as anyone touches my curly hair it goes out of control, so I never let anybody touch it, but the makeup lady had her hands going in and out doing the gel and the wax.
“And I got put into a really uncomfortable pose, but I’m not too fussed.”

Truth be told Andrew, that uncomfortable pose is super appreciated around Oh Errol HQ. Except by John John, who got all offended by us looking at another man’s package and promptly upped the amount of dick tricks he performs per day. Also, Sassy verifies that no one knows how to style curly hair. WE UNDERSTAND DARLIN!
We’d also like to point out that he clearly fake tans for big events and forgets to spread evenly in the underarm region:

pic: AFP/Getty Images
In case Andrew’s reading I’d like to point out that we’re not trying to embarrass by pointing this out, merely highlight that WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. You’re amongst friends. Now take off your shirt and we’ll bronze you up nice and good.
And in case we hadn’t been completely won over, we read this in his Athlete Profile:
Hero/Idol – Anne Lauterstein.
HE PUT HIS MUM AS HIS HERO. Oh Andrew. We love you.

pic: Mark Dadswell/Getty Images
Oh, and he also follows league. Hoorah! Unfort he’s a Storm fan but so is Hazy and we still love her. I could never stay mad at that face anyway.

pic: AAP/The Courier-Mail/Nick D’Arcy’s Facebook

