men we love: andrew lauterstein

We were pretty much won over after taking one look at him – bitch is easy on the eye. He can dive into our pools any day of the week. We’re right here if he wants to…wait for it…practice his stroke. But our Lauterstein Love isn’t entirely based on his prettiness – contrary to popular belief (by one of our haterz), we don’t only care about beauty (we just really really appreciate it). We aren’t just fantasising about twirling our fingers around Lauterstein’s curls after he’s used all that upper body strength throwing us around the bedroom (though that features quite heavily in my mind at least). We’re also into what bb has to say, and that seems to be just as impressive as his pretty. In fact he seems so lovely I almost feel bad for making pervy comments about him. Almost.

Like us, he’s completely over Michael Phelps. Fo rlz:

“We’re going to give the Americans a good shake, hopefully stop Phelpsy from getting his eighth gold.”

I love that he’s taken to calling him Phelpsy. It’s all “bitch I don’t care how many medals and records you have, Ima treat you the same way I do my mates”. So Aus.

best pic ever: abc.net.au

Andypants follows this up by being completely gracious and adorable:

Meanwhile Lauterstein could scarcely believe taking the bronze in such a great race.

“It felt like I was dreaming,” said Lauterstein.

“It was the type of thing I was dreaming about last night. I knew I could be up there fishing for a medal and it is just amazing.

“Words cannot comprehend how I am feeling at the moment.

“It was just a great race to be part of, an absolute spectacle.”

Aww4Eva at him dreaming about being up on the podium (I think he probably meant daydreaming rather than sleepytimes dreaming, but I like the mental image of him curled up in bed, with visions of beating Phelpsy dancing around his head) WHY U SO CUTE ANDREW? Btw you just know Phelps is the type who insists he doesn’t dream. I bet he sleeps in some kind of water chamber like when Casper Van Dien is recovering from battle injury in Starship Troopers.

I think what I find most lovable though is that he posed for Cleo Bachelor of the Year, and kind of hated it:

“But I’m happy for my Cleo Bachelor of the Year run to go under the radar.”

Lauterstein said he found his photos less than flattering. “As soon as anyone touches my curly hair it goes out of control, so I never let anybody touch it, but the makeup lady had her hands going in and out doing the gel and the wax.

“And I got put into a really uncomfortable pose, but I’m not too fussed.”

Truth be told Andrew, that uncomfortable pose is super appreciated around Oh Errol HQ. Except by John John, who got all offended by us looking at another man’s package and promptly upped the amount of dick tricks he performs per day. Also, Sassy verifies that no one knows how to style curly hair. WE UNDERSTAND DARLIN!

We’d also like to point out that he clearly fake tans for big events and forgets to spread evenly in the underarm region:

pic: AFP/Getty Images

In case Andrew’s reading I’d like to point out that we’re not trying to embarrass by pointing this out, merely highlight that WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. You’re amongst friends. Now take off your shirt and we’ll bronze you up nice and good.

And in case we hadn’t been completely won over, we read this in his Athlete Profile:

Hero/Idol – Anne Lauterstein.

HE PUT HIS MUM AS HIS HERO. Oh Andrew. We love you.

pic: Mark Dadswell/Getty Images