men we love: ryan lochte

Inspired by Sassy’s thoughts from her Olympic crackden, I thought you might like to meet my new Olympics Boyfriend, Ryan Lochte. I knowwww, I should’ve picked an Aussie. But he was the first one I noticed and you just can’t fight fate. I also can’t resist a man with pretty curls and lips so fiiiine.

I’ve never had an Olympics Boyfriend before but I’m convinced it’s pretty much the best idea ever. Not only is he an imaginary boyfriend like my various celebrity mans and will therefore never break my heart/expect birthday presents/ask to do me in the arse, but he’s only gunna be around for a couple of weeks. Because let’s face it, it takes all the hoopla of the Olympics to actually get me watching swimming and the chances of me taking any notice of Ryan once it’s over are slim to none.

To be honest he actually comes across as a bit of a tool (well I think that’s a given being American and all):

Nuff said. But that’s ok, because it’s only two weeks and I can overlook the douchiness and concentrate on things like this:

The Golden Goggles — swimming’s annual awards gala — were held the Sunday before Thanksgiving in Beverly Hills, and Lochte showed up wearing one of his recent purchases, a white leisure suit that looked as if it had last been worn in Saturday Night Fever.

I think we need to revisit that sentence. A White. Leisure. Suit. AMAZING. And from the same article:

Before reporting to the ready room, where all the finalists gather before the race, Lochte had a brief conversation with [his sister] Megan.

“Rye, Rye, are you nervous?” she said. Instead of answering, Lochte said, “I need 70 euros.” Megan was taken aback. What for? she wanted to know. “To get a box of cigars,” Lochte said, grinning. His sister returned to her seat and informed her parents, who were nervous wrecks, that Lochte was fine.

I also can’t help but love anyone who’s comfortable with this:

But what pretty much sealed the deal was discovering that swimming can apparently be almost as homo as League*

Sassy says that last one is so “GET A STUDIO PHOTO WITH YOUR PARTNER…TREASURE THE MEMORIES ALWAYS”, and it isss.

*Please ignore Michael Phelps who is a douchebag of epic proportions with no redeeming qualities ala Ryan.

edit: I just read this and felt it needed inclusion:

The event took place at 10:03 a.m. Beijing time to accommodate NBC’s desire to show it live in the U.S (Beijing is 12 hours ahead of ET). Lochte said he got up at 6 a.m. and ate McDonalds