notes from north of the border

Kiki and Sassy coming to you live from Queensland! Well sort of live. Whatever. We’re up at the Gold Coast to check out the lead up to the Indigenous vs All Stars match this week, and just maybe because we kind of love going to a place where it’s socially acceptable to wear a white denim miniskirt in public. As far as white denim goes, Sassy and Surfer’s Paradise are in total philosophical agreement.

But there are a few things that are kind of … odd up here. Like the fact that every second ad on the radio is either a community service announcement warning people not to drive into flood waters (‘turn around you idiot! don’t let your life go down the drain!’) or an RACQ ad pimping out their service to help out Queenslanders who’ve locked their keys in their cars. Seriously. Not cars that have, you know, broken down, or had an accident … just battlers who have frequent problems with cars and locks. It’s like a whole state of morons! Maybe we should move here.

This morning the Indigenous team trained with the NSW and Qld indigenous 16s rep teams, and you’ll be delighted to know that Jamal Idris is as insanely cuddly in person as he is on yo TV. The fact that we resisted running on to go the snuggle is pretty much a miracle.

The word out of indigenous camp is that Gorden Tallis has been calling Wendell Sailor ‘Beyonce’ for the last 48 hours straight. Doesn’t Gordie love a pop culture reference? He so does …. almost as much as us, in fact. 

Needless to say we are massive Gordie fans, thanks to his hilarious domestic squabbles with Gary Freeman on Monday Night Football. And that was before we saw him refereeing in a bucket hat while the Indigenous superstars played the 16s. A BUCKET HAT, PEOPLE! It’s all our dreams come true.

We were lucky enough to have a chat to Gordie last year in Orange, so we were pretty overjoyed that he recognised us and came over to take the piss out of us today for our hilarious escapades and mixups in City-Country week. It’s the Australian way.

Greg Bird is back in the country – sadly without his hilarious 2008 Mexican moustache, because he’s swapped it for some bulk. Goddamn! Bird is a unit. For reals. Especially when he stands next to the tiny tiny ankles of Jamal Idris, Neil Henry, and Beau Champion.

The injury curse over this whole showcase game is still out of control, if you’re wondering. I don’t know who it was that disturbed the angry pharoah mummy, but shit is ridiculous. Blake Ferguson, also known as injured Justin Hodge’s replacement, had to hit the bench and ice his ankle, which may or may not be sorted out by the end of the week. Poor lil Blake! Think we almost saw his rats tail uncurl in sadness as he sat on the sideline.

At least we must’ve cheered him up with our ridiculous 80s cockrock hair. THIS HUMIDITY IS RIDICULOUS. We can’t leave the house without looking like rejects from a Whitesnake video. 

And if you’re wondering why there are no ErrolTV interview clips for you today, I think I can explain it in one phrase: we are idiots. Not only did we try and charge our video camera with the wrong charger and think that it broke; we then spent an hour phoning around electronics stores to find a replacement with a pre-charged battery; we also then realised we had the wrong microphone to attach to the camera, and finally …. drove to the wrong field. Late interviewers are disappointed interviewers.

Your two favourite idiots also got distracted talking to the awesome Phil from the NSW team management about his boys, and ended up as the unwitting backdrop for about eight interviews with Scott Prince. 

On. Fire. Right?

We are awesome.

Stay tuned for more gossip and some TV goodness tomorrow when we get our shit together. Plus an adorable profile of the NSW 16s indigenous rep team.