oh errol fantasy league: round 13

Obviously here at Errol we really love our fantasy league. Personally though, I can never just like something a lot – I have to be a kind of obsessed with it. TV shows (Arrested Development, Friday Night Lights), celebs (Taylor Hanson, Will Arnett), food (I still can’t eat Nacho Cheese Doritos after being addicted to them in Year 9)…

…and right now I’m obsessed with fantasy league.

Might as well face it…

How do I know? Two things:

a) on Saturday morning I was dreaming that new Wildcats recruit DanDan Mortimer scored really really well, and I’m fairly sure I woke myself up because I was so excited I was talking in my sleep. I remember sitting up and talking to myself in bed about DanDan’s score. I WOKE MYSELF UP TALKING ABOUT FANTASY LEAGUE. Why am I single?

b) on Sunday night I came home at 1am after watching an Islander cover band do such classics as Kiss by Prince and Will Smith’s heartfelt classic Gettin Jiggy Wit It, drunk dialled Suchy and whipped out Kiki’s compy to check our fantasy scorez.

Oh, me.

THE WILDCATS

The Wildcats scored over 1000 again!! In fact their score this week is the second highest in the comp with 1030. Unfortunately they didn’t beat their opponents, The Johnny Rapers, but we’re super proud of them anyway.

On a slightly freaky sidenote, the  High School Musical 3 opening number ‘Now or Never’ just came on my mp3 player. It has cheerleaders going “WILDCATS…we’re the champions…gunna win!”. YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT! Writing about our Wildcats while listening to A SONG about Wildcats. CREEPY. And yes you are correct, my life is awesome.

Turns out my dream was right. DAN MORTIMER REALLY DID SCORE WELL! 67 points. I am pretty much The Fantasy League Whisperer. I might get that on a tshirt.

Other notes: Robbie Farah has apparently come to terms with Wildcat leadership with 176 points, Hornbag is clearly beside himself with joy at being re-introduced to the team and scored 70 points, and Dean Young produced his best fantasy score to date with 81. Even when the Dragons lose it pays off having so many in the team. THANKS BABIES!

THE HOTTIE MCHOTHOTS

This week the Hotties were up against The Poodles. I’m glad I decided against adding my own personal fantasy team, The Hedgehogs (now defunct), to the Tele comp. There’s no way I could go up against the Hotties OR the Wildcats.

Anyway the Hotties beat the Poodles 878 to 696. YAAY HOTTIES! Not their best score ever, but quite respectable.

This round’s standout star is most definitely our beloved Intern John John who scored a magnificent 90 POINTS! Unfortunately the same can’t be said for his brother Davey, who scored a try (props to Sunday Roast and WIN news for that shot of the full moon btw. GET IT, COZ HE’S THE WOLFMAN) and still only brought in 30. Tries are 15 points, so basically he did shit all for the rest of the game.

James McManus…welcome to the Hotties. AND THANKS FOR NOT PLAYING THIS WEEK. God dammit. I had to ditch Robbo to make room for him too.

BUT I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU GUYS?! I’m wearing shorty shorts and everything!

pic: simon dean

JADEWATCH

Let’s see how the Tiny Dancers are doing. Hopefully better than Jamie ‘Tiny Dancer’ Soward, who we were very worried about when he was knocked out on Monday night.

Not a great week for the Tiny Dancers, must’ve been the swine flu in the air. My excellent coaching skillz meant not only did I have a captain who wasn’t playing, but no vice either. I am awesome. I probably should’ve taken Dell off the bench, then his 72 points would’ve contributed, instead I had Joel Moon’s zinc nipples score 11. All in all it was my not-so-supercoach efforts that led the boys to a measly 627. Better luck next week.

So…not much better off than Sowie then. Boo.