oh errol fantasy league: round 7

Ok look. I’m gunna let you all in on a little behind the scenes Errol stuffs. Thankfully this isn’t a video featurette like you get on DVD special features, coz I haven’t had my hair done in weeks and my regrowth is shocking. Don’t worry, I’m going to get it done on Thursday. I know you were wondering.

Last week I struggled like woah with our fantasy post. I just had nothing to say! I got so sick of it that I cracked the shits, made Sassy finish it, and said I’M NOT DOING IT NEXT WEEK. NO NO NO! *tanty*

Lozzy causes a scene in the Errol Office/wears awesome dress

“So why are you doing it this week then Lozzy? I must know!”

*fills with rage* BECAUSE I’VE DROPPED TO 6TH PLACE IN TIPPING AND I’M SO ANNOYED ABOUT IT I REFUSED TO DO THE TIPS POST. No, I don’t wanna talk about it.

Anyway, hopefully this week’s fantasy post comes a little easier this time. I’ve waited till the afternoon to write it because I feel my best thinking is done a) in the shower (SASSY DOES IT TOO. We always say “So I was just thinking in the shower and…”) and b) post-lunch. Because pre-lunch I’m just thinking about lunch/emailing Sassy asking what she’s having for lunch, which fall into the hands of unsuspecting coworkers. HI HUGH!

THE WILDCATS

Looks like the silent treatment paid off. The Wildcats scored a decent 930 points this week – improving by more than 100 from last week. Still, they could do better.

We couldn’t afford to re-introduce Hot Bitch Coops to the team (and I mean we literally couldn’t afford it. Bitch is expensive), but we did benefit from the return of Steve Price, who brought a fantastic 71 points to the table (you know he totally sits at the head of it and carves the meat too).

Errol favourite Robbie Farah also scored a nice 79 points, which would be even more awesome if he were still the Wildcats captain but…we gave it to T.Camps. Who scored 27 points. GOD TEZ. Is this because I ditched you for Jamie Soward as my footy husband? I know you apparently have a bung foot and a ‘virus’, but I think this is the real reason. It’s ok, rejection makes me vomit too.

Meanwhile we are feeling super-smart and prescient that when we were picking the squads, Sassy snapped up lil Kevin Gordon from the Gold Coast Titans for just $87,500. That bad boy is now worth $149,600. He also notched up 67 points this round. Amazing!

And you know what? We are not surprised. Because we like to put our faith in the young players. We believe the children are our future, if you will.

And Kevin Gordon is an especially lovable future.

HI K.FLASH. We especially love his monotreme hair and Flossy-esque joy at just being on the footy field. Star of the future alert, people.

Man of the Match however goes to Manu Vatuvei. 85 POINTS! Vatuvei, Vatuvei he’s our man(u)! (We would’ve given it to Tiny Dancer and his 105 pts, but he gets a mention on Errol all the time)

THE HOTTIE MCHOTHOTS

The Hotties had an ok week. 842 points. Not spectacular, but definitely better than some of their past efforts.

We COULD afford Hot Bitch for the Hotties, but we also didn’t realise John John was out for two weeks, not one, and had him in our starting 13. I SWEAR HE WAS IN THE TEAM LIST. I checked, and then recorded against our fantasy team spreadsheet. You can’t argue with the spreadsheet!

Luke O’Donnell, as foreshadowed last week, took on the Hotties captaincy…and then went and got himself sinbinned. DAMMIT LUKE. That’s minus 16 points, you bitch. Consider yourself stripped of the title. Mmm, stripping Luke O’Donnell.

Luke O’Donnell can sin our bins any day

As for the head-to-head, well, the Wildcats beat the Hotties. I dunno about the other girls, but I was really hoping it would be the other way around. Not that I don’t love the Wildcats. I just love the Hotties more. WHAT!? I just like an underdog! It has nothing to do with their prettiness.

JADEWATCH

No proper Jadewatch this week. We contacted Jade for comment and could only get a “I’m too embarrassed at the result” statement. Ouch. Poor Jade. Poor Tiny Dancers.

Shirtless Luke – Naked For a Cause and our fave blog