oscars wrap up … and a little bit of whoring

BLOGGING SUPERSTARRRRRRS!

*high kick*

Exciting times, kids!  Kiki and I have a new home over at the Austereo / Fox website, blogging about celebrities and style and other Very Important Things.

We’ve already posted some of our comments on the Oscars, including how much we adore Zac Efron, why Hugh Jackman is super-human, the worst hair in the history of humanity, and why Brad Pitt is a bitch.

Read it.  You’ll love it.  Promise.

What we didn’t get to in our blog though was what happened after the awards ceremony, and I has mah suspicionz about that.  By all accounts, hot bitch Robert Downey Jr got up to this:

OF COURSE HE DID.  What else would Ro Ju do now that he’s off the drugs except sit around with his smoking wife lounging in the nook on his shoulder,  doing manly things like smoking manly cigars, probably smelling like Burberry London or Demeter Leather and unselfconsciously mussing his hair while he considers putting on a smoking jacket or … what was my point?  Oh yes, he’s smoking a cigar celebrating not winning an Oscar, but instead winning at life.  Heh, cigar.  It’s funny cause it implies sexytimes.

I also feel completely and unflinchingly certain that Meryl Streep blazed up her own cigar and got blind on grey goose cocktails with Goldie Hawn and Hugh Jackman while Goldie discussed her spirit guides.  If you’re wondering where that happened, it was in my mind.

Meanwhile I probably don’t even need to tell you but I am now in mad emotional gaylove with Dustin Lance Black.   He’s lovely. Not to mention he has bone structure I would cut a bitch for.

But do you know what the best bit is?  And no, it’s not that an adorable gay boy from Texas won an Oscar for a brilliant screenplay about a gay political activist and simultaneously gave the forks to every Proposition 8-voting homophobic FASCIST.  It’s that DLB was able to live his dream.

His dream of meeting Zac Efron.

Look at Efron trying to look all hetero.  Think manly thoughts! Think manly thoughts!  Cedar!  Monster trucks!  Vaginas!

And look at DLB freaking out.  Even Oscar-winners get awkward around Zef.  Don’t be intimidated by his beauty, Lance!  It’s all Maybelline!  For reals.

In other, far less interesting news, I assume that  Angelina went home with at least one extra from Slumdog Millionaire under her arm, while little Miley Cyrus went home and brushed her hair 100 times in the mirror, thinking about how next year she’s gonna be recognised at the Oscars for Hannah Montana.  SNORT.

And now, because I don’t want to drive Lozzy to a stroke, I’ll calm down on the Oscars talk.  Till next year, babies.