project health volume 4 : sickness and sausage rolls

Hello.

This weeks health update will be a crap one. Why? Because we have fallen off the wagon. In rather spectacular fashion.We haven’t exercised in wait for it…10 whole days. DAMNIT. WE WERE DOING SO WELL.

It isn’t really our fault though. Remember last week when Sassy told you we came back from Canberra sick as dogs? Well she sorta recovered during the week and I sorta….got worse. Without going into too much gross detail, I have been basically a walking corpse all week. PUBLIC SERVANT DEATH VIRUS. SCREW YOU CANBERRA.

I finally gave in and went to the doctor on Monday and I left the chemist literally clutching a bag of drugs. I live in hope of being able to breathe through my nose again. That would be sweet.

Since I have no lolz stories of us at the gym or anything to tell you, let’s talk about other things.

So despite the death virus, we still had worky times to do and I managed to drag my carcass to Leichardt Oval to interview the Balmain Tigers for our new gig with the NSWRL. I would like to apologise to everyone at the ground because I spent the entire first half spread eagled semi concious on the hill moaning softly and attempting to breathe.. SOZ GUYZ.

Being so dosed up on cold medicine turned me into an even bigger idiot than usual. We watched the second half in the like…players cage. Or whatever it’s called.  Media man Ryan Cunningham (hi Ryan!) told us to just hop over the fence and then join the injured boys to watch the game. So because I’m me, I tried to jump over and kinda got stuck in the crotchal region,squealed loudly, hit my leg, limped up the stairs and then as I sat down dropped my note book and KNOCKED OVER THEIR WATER BOTTLES.

As some player who’s name I can’t remember said ‘that was quite the entrance’. FML.

The afternoon quickly improved though because after the game we got to go into the sheds and interview a few of the boys. I was sitting alone swinging my legs on a chair and suddenly I see three shirtless men walking down the hall towards me. All I managed to do was squeak SASSSSSSSY??

Look we all know that I am a perve of epic proportions so I’m sure you can imagine how hard (hehe hard) it was for me to ask Professional Questions when interviewing 3 shirtless footy players. Especially when halfback Josh Lewis was still wet from the shower and WEARING ONLY A TOWEL. Seriously, that was just cruel.

At this juncture I would like to pat myself on the back for not saying IF I WAS A GUY I WOULD TOTALLY HAVE A BONER RIGHT NOW…because that’s totally what I was thinking.

Anywaaaay….I am seriously So Mad At The World because I had finally gotten over the yucky withdrawls and hunger pains and was starting to feel like a fit healthy person and then BAM. Sickness.

Having said that, we have both tried to eat as well as possible to offset the lack of exercise. We did pretty well until I felt really sorry for myself on Sunday and ate a sausage roll, a huge bowl of pasta AND Maccas. Disgraceful.

Now it’s exactly 2 weeks (!!!!!) until we leave for the States and we are freaking out a tad. Consequently we are going super duper low carb to try and lose as much weight as possible before we have to wear summer clothes in public. We are now only allowed one serve of carbs in the morning (one slice of soy and linseed toast) and that’s it. It’s entirely possible we will go insane. WISH US LUCK!