rugs we love: mid-week chest hair appreciation
August 27th, 2008That title would’ve been much cuter if I’d posted this yesterday and called it Chest Hair Tuesday, but it was just impossible to find a moment between getting Work Experience Boy Lachlan settled and snuggled, and Intern John-John constantly dragging us outside to watch him do ‘The Dolphin’ in the pool. YES WE’RE LOOKING JOHN JOHN. YES WE DO WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN.
pic: boyculture.typepad.com
You might have gathered that we’re avid cheerleaders of the beard. Some might call us Beard Enthusiasts. Well, our hair appreciation also travels south (no, not that far south. I only talk about that on weekends. Well that’s a lie, but not today kids) – we love a good rug. Whoever decided mans should wax their chests (or you know, anything at all) needs to be throttled. Speaking of hair removal, this reminds me I need to have a talk with John-John about the tube of Nair I bought last week and then found empty in his bum-bag. I suspect he wasn’t using it on his chest though, so that’s a plus I guess.
I suppose I kind of get it though, even if I do disapprove with a fiery hot intensity. There’s some amazing chest forestry out there and if you’re a guy who can only manage randomly scattered puffs of hair no matter how many Skin, Hair & Nails vitamins you take, it’s easier just to shave it off and pretend you COULD have a silky covering of man-fur but just CHOOSE NOT TO OK. Like guys who pretend they haven’t heard of/are too cool for Movember when they don’t want to show the world their pissweak mo effort.*
In an effort to groom our entire male readership to exactly our liking (after which we shall take over the woooorld), and more importantly to please ourselves, we’d like to provide some Hairy Role Models.
Let’s start with some vintage fur – Burt Reynolds**
That right there is one of the most famous chest rugs, no? Not ‘famous’ in the sense that it’s attached to a well-known actor, but famous of it’s own accord. I honestly can’t (though it’s possible that by ‘can’t’ I actually mean ‘won’t') recall a Burt movie where his chest hair hasn’t acted alongside him, emoting on cue like a true pro.
I think it’s best performance though is during Burt and Dolly’s Sneakin Around number in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (can’t wait for those google searches). We like beer and rodeos, detective books and dominoes, football games and Cheerios too Burt! YouTube also blessed me with what is titled “burt reynolds in a group shower scene”. HOW DID IT KNOW I’D ENJOY THAT? I have no idea where it’s from – the only description is the mysterious and non-helpful ‘from a silent movie’ – but let’s not ask questions and just enjoy Burt soapin’ his rug.
A more current chest hair representative is Mark Ruffalo, who we think of as the thinking woman’s hot bitch. Oh Maaaark.
pic: markruffalo.net
Sometimes our favourite mans really disappoint us in the chest hair department though. Yes Kyle Chandler, I am looking at you. Bitch is known for his amazing head of hair which, like Burt’s rug, emotes accordingly and always professionally.
“I cannot believe you’re getting me involved in this Lozzy”, says Kyle Chandler’s Hair
But apparently Kyle’s body spends so much time attending to his scalp, meticulously giving each strand of hair the strength of a small army and talent of the Actor’s Studio, that it forgets everywhere else. Kyle Chandler is quite hairless. We know this because the interns trawled through screencaps, pics of him wearing lowcut shirts and videos of 90′s TV appearances until the wee hours of the morning for us. Without us even asking! They are so creepy.
Speaking of unexpected hairlessness, this has all got me rather concerned about one of our Oh Errol faves Shillo. We’ve expressed our appreciation for his rockin the chest hair in Gods of Football, but on close inspection (it would’ve been closer but Lachie lost our magnifying glass outside while looking for ladybugs) of last week’s shirt lift, Shillo is looking frighteningly hairless in comparison.
pic: hotaussiefootyplayersshirtless.blogspot.com
Darlin, have the rest of the boys been whispering poor advice on body hair in your ear, or are our eyes playing tricks on us? Please let it be the latter.
*Of course none of this applies to men who are either blondies with pale baby-duck downs or are just naturally rather hairless. Or, you know, underage. It’s wanting to be a hairless cat on purpose that bothers us. As for Movember, IT’S FOR A GOOD CAUSE GUYS. Whether you can grow a good one or not is not the point. Though we will most certainly mock those with pissweak mo’s, it’s from a place of deep love and appreciation. And thirst for lolz.
**I had another pic here but it was scaring the interns every time they scrolled down, so it had to be changed. Clicky if the mystery is killing you.
kiki
sassy
lozzy
interns
This post is amazing. ♥
Will anything compare in sadness to the day when we discovered Kyle Chandler was hairless below the armpit? I think not. I’m still devestated. Just looking at his Kikiesque hairless cat arms makes me tear up.
Mmm Mark Ruffalo. I just want to have a picnic on his chest. Just lay out a whole spread of fried chicken, mashed potato and collards and eat from nestled between his arm and torso. Cosy.
This is going too far. Kiki’s mum was right, this is pornography.
i WISH i could be crowned the ‘most pornographic poster’ but i think that’s far off the mark.
would you have the same opinion if it were female nudity? semi-nudity more accurately.
I’ve been refreshing oh errol a disturbing amount of times since I found out you were researching a chest hair piece Lozzy … hee .. HAIR PIECE.
My favourite Burt Reynolds has to be Smokey & The Bandit. Now that’s a man. I love also how he only takes his hat off “for one thing. And one thing only”. And I say … Yeeeeehaw!
And excellent call on Mark Ruffalo.
*purrs on rug*
Good to know there’s some chest hair love out there… helps give a guy confidence about his weekend dilemmas!
I wish it was the 80s again, when a guy like Tom Selleck could walk around open-shirted showing off the chest-rug and still be considered hot.
And I’m having further 80s flashbacks of a hirsute Jon Bon Jovi being quite the school girl’s pin-up man… When exactly did this modern preening craze actually begin? And why??
“But apparently Kyle’s body spends so much time attending to his scalp, meticulously giving each strand of hair the strength of a small army and talent of the Actor’s Studio, that it forgets everywhere else.”
aah it’s funny cause it’s true. WATCH FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS PEOPLE.
this may be your finest work lozzy. *strokes ruffalo*
I personally feel shillo has the perfect amount of hair. I dont like a bushy forest, just enough to know he is a man, not enough to wonder if he is a gorilla. Also, Im pretty sure roosters players have the best thighs in league. Just putting that out there. Have you seen willie masons?? oh my science.
BEST
POST
EVER
May I also recommend Sean Connery in his Bond days?
I used to work with someone, actually two guys at who would regulary “duck out for 5 minutes” to get their back and chest waxed. I didn’t and still don’t know which part distrurbs me the most – the hair or the waxing… One of them (love you az) used to get text messages from his waxer indicating it was probably time for another wax. i found it tre disturbing.
I can handle some chest hair just no rug on the back!
I’m a real Kyle Chandler fan.
I said it.
Saw Shillo’s chest rug on the Footy Show tonight.
I get what marlo means now – it’s a nice amount. Enough to know it’s there, and the man has some… manliness, but not too much to push into the gorilla category.
I can remember when mine was like Shillos – but unfortunately it didn’t stop there, and since I’m perosnally against preening the chest those days are but a fond memory…
OF COURSE YOU ARE ANTON! Because he’s amazing. But unfortunately hairless.
Pls watch Friday Night Lights.
Oh Errol girls, you leave me so perplexed. I want to hate you when you bag out my men Michael Duck Hair</em Crocker and Cameron Wolf Man Smith but when I read entries like this, it makes me love you again.
Speaking of my Cammy, WHY hasn’t he been included in this article??? He has the greatest hairy chest in the NRL to date
I suggest that you include a ‘Hairiest Man In League’ section to the Oh Errol Awards STAT.
Thanks for the great entries girls, I’ll just have to skip over those State of Origin posts
To be fair, Mick Crocker won major points with us when we found out he wore overalls. Without a shirt underneath. So love where love’s due.
Oh my goodness! Someone has to have photographic evidence of Crocker’s fierce new fashion trend PLEASE!
I agree that Jon Bon Jovi in his younger days looked effing hot with that fantastic hairy chest and I recall from my high school days a guy called Phillip Lamovie who when he was 15 had a hairy chest that would put blokes three times his age to shame
Remember that great Aussie band Sherbert from the 1970′s and 80′s ? Who could forget the spunky drummer Alan Sandow whose awesome hairy chest looked like it needed a lawn mower
On the subject of chest rugs in the rock music world I am awestruck by the massive hairy chests of the guys from Kiss. Another spunky hairy dude is Troy Dann but sadly I read somewhere that he has now rid himself of his body hair
On the subject of body hair I recall going to Recreation gym at Armadale in Melbourne in the early 1990′s and was freaking out every time I saw in the buff a hot bloke called Damian Eagle whose body was coated with the most awesome thick black hair
I feel like such a TRAITOR – I set up a Hairy Mens Manscaping and Grooming Tips site. Not that I advocate hacking and whacking off all that glorious body fur. But a little prudent trimming here and there can make the bear-hairy man just that much more appealing.
I highly recommend visiting the website classichunkofman.com for great pics of guys with body fur and check out the pics of that stud bear Alec Baldwin which are totally awesome
I think the Aussie cricketer Simon Katich deserves credit for proudly displaying his gorgeous hairy chest in the Men of Cricket calendar and I am reminded of going to the pub on my last day of high school and seeing a classmate of mine Laurie Knightley sitting at the bar with his shirt unbuttoned to the waist showing off his mind blowing hot thick jet black hairy chest
I recall visiting the dressing rooms of a local footy club in the early 1980′s and there was a spunky boy called Rod Morrison who had what I call a chest fro – his chest was smothered in the most gorgeous rug of jet black thick tight ringlets of hair and this was a sight that had to be seen to be believed
You can see pictures at the Hot Aussie Males website of that spunky hairy footballer Cameron Smith and I recall seeing at my local gym in the 1990′s a hot boy called Chris Kiskiras in the buff and freaking out over his mouth watering hairy body