spit-shine those shoes: it's school photo day

Following Work Experience Boy Lachie’s journey out to spy on the Sea Eagles last week, returning  with some beautiful shots of the boy’s preparing for this weekend’s performance of Garbo Get Your Gun…I mean My Fair Garbo…DAMMIT I MEAN THE NRL FINALS, we thought we’d send him out on another excursion to see what’s what during Grand Final week.

So Monday morn’ Lachie turned up with Mama Coote-signed permission slip and Curious George lunchbox in hand, and we sent him off to do our bidding. And not just the Manly boys this time, no siree bob. We made like Bill Paxton and went after The Storm.

First of all, it should be known that the Manly lot were auctioning off a place in their team photo. Unfortunately the auction also came with a Sea Eagles jersey, shorts and socks:

The highest bidder will receive a Sea Eagles Jersey, Shorts and Socks to wear in the photo and keep as a memento of the occasion as well as a framed copy of the photo.

This is a truly amazing opportunity that you will treasure for ever.

Yes, they were asking fans to pay to wear maroon. As enticing as lying across the boys knees with my head resting in Davey’s lap sounds (I don’t mean that the way it sounds, I swear)…not in that getup, ok thanks.

Judging from the piccies Lachie brought home, the Sea Eagles photo day was much like every single one I endured throughout my schooling ie. lots of lining up and height organisation, which Matt Orford should be pretty upset about:

Aw youse big kids crack me up

AWWW Matty! I understand. I was ALWAYS the shortest kid in the class and got stuck in the front row, even when I purposely wore the wrong shoes to avoid it. Except in Year 11 when the dickheads put me right up the top with all the tall kids and I had to stand on my tip toes AND STILL LOOKED LIKE A MIDGET. Orford doesn’t actually look too concerned though – I guess a Dally M medal overrides any height neuroses.

Des Hasler does not find this buffoonery amusing.

By the way, Sassy would like to know if that is bird poo in Ballin’s hair in the above pic. Surely birds don’t poo on a GOD OF FOOTBALL? DON’T THEY KNOW WHO HE IS? Perhaps the bird in question was a rabid Daniel Conn fan and is v unimpressed with the result.

ZOMG Daniel Conn I’m your biggest fan. Sign my wing?

Speaking of hair, Davey’s award-nominated locks were enjoying the sun very much.

I like to think he personally suggested an outdoors shoot specifically so his natural blonde highlights would be emphasised, in an attempt to score a few more points in the race for Best Hair in League. BUT I JUST LOOK BETTER AMONGST NATURE GUYZ. We see right through you David (it’s kind of working though just quietly).

Whilst the Sea Eagles were gallivanting around/not amusing Des Hasler (by the way, you just KNOW the token ‘does the finger in the class photo’ guy was Watmough), over at Globo Gym the cyborgs players were rounded up, programmed to their ‘human emotion’ setting and produced this:

Hmm, I don’t think that’s quite convincing enough for us to believe they have souls. Apparently Bellamy didn’t think so either and upped the boys Humaniser2000 program to maximum:

Do Not Be Fooled. Proceed With Caution. They may look like they’re having fun but IT’S A FRONT PEOPLE. THEY’RE STILL DEAD BEHIND THE EYES.

Just look at this:

How unhappy is that dog? It’s utterly ashamed to be seen with Go Storm on it’s back. S/he can sense the evil.

Sea Eagles pics: Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

Storm pics: Quinn Rooney/Getty Images