state of origin one: the debrief

Apologies for not posting yesterday, darlings. But, you see, the Day After Origin is an official public holiday at Errol HQ. By which I mean we all hop in bed together and giggle away our hangovers of joy and/or sorrow. Can’t blog on a public holiday! For one thing, Intern John John would probably get all annoyed and try and start an Intern’s Union again. (The last one went down in flames when he and Intern Danny Wicks came to blows over the meeting catering options.)

I think our feelings about Origin can best be summed up visually.

……………. we lost.

Thanks Robbie Farah. Another relevant description is: DAMN I hate losing to Queensland. And not in the usual rageful we-enjoy-having-nemeses Angelina-Jolie-hating kinda way. I really REALLY hate it. It galls me. It actually makes me understand completely what the phrase ‘makes your blood boil’ means. There is deadset no other way to describe the rage Queensland incites in me. We even got a twitter warning for profanity because of it. FASCISTS. %$#&($#@.

But because I’m a masochist let’s talk about it anyway, shall we?

ALL THE WAY WITH BENNY CREAGH

I do NOT have my own heading! Do I?

It wasn’t all tears and heartbreak on the field. Our team of baby blues looked … well to be honest, they looked a little freaked at times. But on either side of that is the potential for future Origin brilliance.

They ran out so strongly that even my friend who knows NOTHING about footy – hi Cyan! – smsed to tell me they looked ‘dangerous’.  But after the abortive joy at Jarryd Hayne’s maybe-try in the first half, they kinda … wilted. Like rocket in a toasted sandwich. And do you know what? I understand, babies. I thought it was a try too. The only people who don’t are parochial self-deluding Queenslanders like Barry Dick on the Courier Mail website who maintain that Jarryd’s heel was on the ground in this shot:

How good is the helpful ‘FOOT’ arrow? Apparently Courier Mail subeditors have little faith in their readers.

NOT THAT I’M BITTER ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING. Booo hisssss Barry Dick. (It’s funny cause he has the word Dick in his name). 

And waiting around while the video refs watched eight replays gave them enough time to realise they were playing State of Origin and freak the hell out.
But this is what comes with experience, right? I’m gonna say yes, because by the time forty minutes had passed, our bbs made a tough, scrappy, big-hearted AWESOME comeback.

And we wanna make a special shout-out to Benny Creagh – specially in the first half. Watching him run at the line made me twinge with pride. We like to think us yelling ALL THE WAY WITH BENNY CREAGH whenever he got a touch of the ball helped immensely. I can’t wait to rock up to Origin II and spot the CREAGHs on the back of baby blue jerseys. You know it’s gonna happen, just you wait. He’ll be a hero for strawberry blond boys everywhere. Cause God knows they don’t have many.

On the topic of second-rowers, Luke O’Donnell smashed it in the second half. Did our pervy comments help?

… if I say yes will you promise to leave me alone?

In other news, unless you are colour blind, you would have noticed that Justin Poore looked RESPLENDENT in his blues jersey.

See? I am also super-proud to point out in massive pink writing that our new BFF Bert from Country Rugby League is sitting there on the left,looking very dapper in his Origin suit. HI BERT! We always knew you belonged on hotaussiefootyplayersshirtless.blogspot.com, you old dog, you.

Apparently Justin Poore is also the den mother of the blues. P.Wallace was so depressed after the loss he couldn’t even manage to get out of his clothes (that totally happens to me too when I’m depressed. Completely normal. One time I slept in jeans) and J.Poore stepped in to sort him out. 

I asked resident astrology and Tarot expert Lozzy and she thinks he must be a Cancer or an Aquarius. They are v. nurturing star signs. I’m not so sure. He doesn’t seem that into it, does he?

Justin: … right there mate?

Justin: Remember we talked about this in camp? Start from the bottom of the jersey, not the top.

Justin: Dammit just hold still I’ll do it myself.
Joey: … ? 

Joey: This is just getting weird now. I actually think I saw a porno like this once.

Justin: For the record, I’m not sitting next to him next Origin. 

THE KIDS FROM NORTH OF THE BORDER 

I can’t comment on the Queenslanders’ performance, because I don’t want to be biased on Errol. (That’s a lie. I love being biased. I just don’t want to talk about them. WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?)

So I’ll quote a Queenslander I used to work with, and surprisingly don’t hate. If nothing else, that’s probably because his username for footy tipping is ‘HatesTheStormHugh’. What a winner.

His summary is pretty much:

Well what did you expect? Every time QLD passed the ball it went to one of the stars of the game, all they had to do was not fuck up and the game was theirs. 

Amen. I will add though that Queensland really need to rethink their Origin suits.

No disrespect Inglis (that’s also a lie) but DAMN that is some zombie horror shit right there. Grey is NOT his colour. He looks straight up undead. That sort of thing is fine if you’re appearing as an extra in the Thriller film clip, not so fine for a victorious footy player.

Can’t they send the Queensland boys to June Dally-Watkins or Colour Me Beautiful or something to get their colours done and sort that shit out? It offends my eyes. (FYI, I think he’s an autumn, but it’s hard to know for sure until you get the scarf on their head).

In other news I will give you a chocolate bar if you can guess what song Johnathan Thurston was singing in his head while he waited for the game to start.

Here’s a clue:

WORK THOSE HIPS JT.

TRANSMISSION PROBLEMS

We should also say hi to the boys from Fire Up! and all their listeners for putting on a great shindig down at the Alexandria Hotel for Origin. The screen really WAS big. Plus the live show was a sell-out and hopefully raised shitloads for FBi. 

Oaten and Ferris even asked us to do some crowd interviews before the game … sadly we took that to mean the whole thing was on radio, and kept saying ‘who wants to be on the radio?’

Considering that NONE of the live show was broadcast, that makes us complete idiots. This is no surprise. It is, however, one of the most Errol stories I’ve ever heard. We do not win at life.

Meanwhile we are taking this loss as a sign for the future: our boys have the talent, they just need the confidence and the tenacity to go with it. See you at the next game, baby blues. 

Love, Sassy.

 

Thank you as always to the lovely Cronkster and the INCREDIBLE BS for the screen caps. You boys are the best.