state of origin: revenge of the fallen
June 26th, 2009
Hey Greg Inglis! We got you a little gift. Lotsa love, New South Wales.
Yes THAT IS TOTALLY A TRANSFORMERS REFERENCE. You know that shit is apt. Because the Queensland team are evil Deceptecons (apart from you Steve Price) and we are noble Autobots. Yep yep.
Yeh so we shoulda written this yesterday but we were a) viciously hungover and b) annoyed at the world. And by world we mean QUEENSLAND. Booooo! As if things couldn’t get any worse, our eyes were subjected to herds of detestable Queensland supporters waddling about Sydney Airport the next day. All clad entirely in maroon. God, why are they so punishing?
This series loss is crap, but we knew it was coming.. By that we mean DAMMIT THOSE QUEENSLANDERS ARE JUST TOO GOOD. Did we really think that our baby blues could beat … pretty much the Australian team? Maybe. In the same way we think there’s a chance we could compete in Miss Universe. We live in a world of immense possibility, after all.
But the dream wasn’t to be. So lets just do a run down shall we?
THE FANS
WE LOVE AUSSIE LEAGUE FANS. There is nothing that brings out the best in people like State of Origin. It’s like … the Olympics for fans. BEST. SIGN. EVER. There’s so much to love about it. I love that it’s actually addressed to Greg Inglis.
We love when fans direct their rage AT the actual players. Like when we went to watch the Roosters lose in dismal fashion against the Tigers at the SFS this season, Mitchell Pearce was standing in the corner in from of us, one irate fan stood up on his chair about three rows back from the field to yell ‘MITCHELL’.
The angryfan was so surprised when Mitchell actually turned around that he couldn’t even remember why he was so pissed and just pointed and shook his finger while making an angry ‘ngggggnnnnnnnnnggghhhhhhh’. It was awesome.
Also, don’t you love the simple fact that someone bothered to make a sign large and intricate enough to include the word BOWRAVILLE? He is so committed.
Possibly the only thing better is that – according to one of our Errol spiez, the lovely Jess – when the Maroons ran out a New South Welshman in a suit mooned them. Pulled on down his pin-striped suit pants and MOONED THEM. I am so proud to be from NSW right now.
THE BIFF
JUSTIN POORE. What a dark horse! First he’s building orphanages in Rwanda, next thing you know he’s whipping up a tasselled bra and smashing Mick Crocker with a right hook in Origin. He is a man of layers. And luckily for us, one of those layers is PUNCHING. Hallelujah!
Exhibit A – J.Punch Poore gets his sexy on
And we have to admit something. With this single act of biff Justin well….he became SEXY. Um hello ripped jersey! We have always adorrrred him, but more in a OMG HE IS SO AMAZING AND PERFECT AND HAVE U SEEN THOSE EYELASHES sort of way. Now his appeal has taken on a whole new dimension. Welcome to the Hot Man Stable Justin baby!
And yes, we know violence is wrong but FOOTY VIOLENCE IS DIFFERENT. We really enjoy watching Anthony Watmough almost magically appear in the vicinity whenever a fight erupts, all full of eagerness and busting to just punch someone. Anyone! He sniffs it out like an enthusiastic labrador diving into the bushes and popping out with an apple core. Heart.
DAVEY HAS NO NO TIMES
Ooooooooh dear. What can we even say? We aren’t gonna describe all of Dave’s fuck ups because well…you guys have eyes right? What we will say is:
a) Watching his distraught face on the TV literally broke our hearts. That shit was BLEAK.
b) Okay yes his mistakes were shockers, but most of the team under performed. If anyone is blaming him for our loss they are delusional.
c) Players have had bad debuts and gone on to be Origin superstars…hello Jarryd Hayne and Justin Hodges! Don’t write him off yet.
d) Guess the bubble had to burst for him at some point. His last 18 months have been somewhat charmed. But wow…what a way to come back to earth. THUD.
e) Even if everyone else in the world is ripping into you…WE STILL LOVE YOU DAVEY! So so much! If you ever need a place to hide out, we can blow up a bed and you can sleep on the floor of Errol HQ.
THE RUNS
K.Hunt is overjoyed at the win; regrets sharing a fork with Nate Myles.
Seriously, Nate Myles = almost as unfortunate as Ben Hannant. Is there anything worse than having it announced to the world that you have diarrhoea? THAT’S RIGHT, PEOPLE. NATE MYLES IN DOUBT FOR ORIGIN CAUSE HE CAN’T LEAVE THE CAN. We love it when embarassing shit happens to Queenslanders, we really do.
BABY HAYNE WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU
Yaaaaay! Go Jarryd-with-a-y! Hayne has often been thought of in the league world as being lazy/arrogant/generally unlikeable. Well forget all that shit coz bitch KILLED IT on Wednesday night. Not only did he score that sweet sweet try (revenge for the video ref debacle of Origin 1) he was also enthusiastic in defence and was probably the Blues best player. WELL DONE MISTER! You get an Errol gold star. Lucky boy.
At this point we would like to make a request.
Queenslanders, we are okay with you winning a record series. It’s hardly a suprise. But please, for the love of all that is good and holy, stop pretending it’s about heart, pride or the ‘Queensland spirit’. IT’S COZ YOU HAVE THE ENTIRE AUSTRALIAN BACKLINE FOR CHRISSAKE. Stop being self mythologising fantasists and accept you are just the better team.
See you in Game 3. We look forward to our Trent ‘our new favourite person’ Barrett smashing some more maroon jaws. What whaaaat!
(Pics from the lovely cronkster and GettyImages)
kiki
sassy
lozzy
interns
lol4eva at that pic of k.hunt
can I just say baby hayne’s early origin form was so much worse than dave’s … AND LOOK AT HIM NOW. intercept pass to a queenslander for a try anyone? maybe just no one remembers because he didn’t have a ridiculous black pirate beard.
“Players have had bad debuts and gone on to be Origin superstars…hello Jarryd Hayne and Justin Hodges!” On the other hand, many players have had bad debuts and then apparently been scratched off the Origin list forevermore, because the NSW selectors are hopelessly inconsistent and spend their time playing favourites and picking people based on name rather than actual ability. Case in point, David Williams, who really hasn’t done a massive amount this year that I can see, but because he’s on TV constantly and has a beard, apparently he’s one of the best two wings in New South Wales. The selectors could not, it appears, think of any two other New South Welsh wingers who are playing better this season. That’s just ludicrous. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU IDIOTS, FOR ONCE JUST PICK A TEAM THAT ISN’T SHIT.
*deep breath* Anyway, I’m officially over Origin for this year, unlikely to bother watching Origin 3, time to get back to the club comp. And if we all squint while watching Bulldogs games then their jerseys sort of look light blue, so we can pretend that they’re the Blues and live in a fantasyland where our state team can actually win the odd game.
Dear wolfman,
I made my SOO debut at this game too. Got the train to the west and everything. Except for the losing thing, god wot a top night out. I blame Grinspoon for putting you off, certainly affected my performance, i mean really – three songs??. Plus the ridiculous lack of beer (did you see those queues?).
Say thanks to Michael (no)Weyman for waving at the crowd during his interchange journey round the back o’ the posts – gorgeous.
It was the moon wasnt it – couldnt help noticing there wasnt one (waxing? waning? one of them). By SOO3 your powers will be returned. It was stilla thrilla (RIP MJ)
yours DF
Is that Dave standing behind in the pic of Justin Poore? It makes it look like JP has a curly mullet (scroll back up and check it out).
I would like to make a joke about Dave being merely half a player …but it would be cruel to kick a man when he is down.
hahahahaha Grinspoon and 3 songs. lolol
Hilius i love your anger.
Yeah – I noticed that too – GO THE MULLET!
I hate to say it – but Gould has made some good comments post-match. We need to pick an Origjn team, not some whatever-method-they-use-this-time team…
Sigh
I have been trying to convince my Rugby League BFF of Justin Poore’s hot man stable cred for such a long damn time! But a bit of biff has helped her see the light! Yay!!! Oh oh oh… and him helping to rebuild homes for widows in Rwanda is just too freakin adorable!
And I like how you ladies have dealt with whole davey thing! Kudos! To those a-holes who insist on kicking a man when his down… you really are poo! There is no gratification in such behaviour. And in the event davey takes up the Errol HQ blow up bed offer, he will need a blow up pillow to go with that. I have the awesomest blow up banana pillow, he can so borrow it!!!
Jarryd Hayne. Heart. Heart. Heart so damn much!!!
I made my SOO debut too- I spent most of the evening cringing into my jacket/blanket.
ahh Grinspoon singing three songs :S I think I tuned out and watched them blowing up the things on the ground instead.
I didn’t really pay attention to Cassie Davies performance either… some random decided to attempt to streak (fully clothed) across the stadium from the QLD fan end. Must of been a queenslander… (lower case intended)
Oh christ did Cassie Davis perform? Thank god I missed the pre-match programming then. She must be the least talented person to receive major radio airplay in the last decade.
Okay, I have absolutely nothing positive to say about Origin II really, so maybe I should just take my grandma’s advice and say nothing at all. Peace out everyone
hi Katt!!
i dont even know who cassie davis is. i am so old
I STILL LOVE YOU WOLFMAN!
yay u used my Justin Poore cap!!! lub youse xxxxx
I would have been devestated by the loss if I wasnt completely blind drunk. all I remember is telling a woman in a purple suit I like her outfit and that I drank straight voddy thinking it was water. If Id seen Cassie Davis perform I would have had another ruined birthday. The only thing *different* about her is that she less talented than her peers.
My favourite part was calling people after 18mins,telling them to be quiet and asked if they could hear it. Hear what they asked. The fat lady singing. Yep, called it after 18 mins. Go QLD, clean sweep, clean sweep!
my favourite part of this weekend was when the tigers lost and the roosters won. true story.
also the way the dragons beat the tigers.
hahaha i love all the suchy hate!
(ps i am in qld, so no this is not a new jade)
lollllllllllll The mooning and the banner. Two of the best moments all night. Rowdy and i have blocked the bad memories of Dave’s brain explosions and you know, Qld winning. Now just focussing on the various ways people express their hatred for the maroons.
If you’re Under 18 – you google how to spell BOWRAVILLE and make a clever banner.
If you’re over 18 – you get blind drunk after work and MOON THEM.
If you’re a half – you identify Queenslands best player and smack them in the jaw *much to the delight of fans all over*
If you’re a forward – you get into a fight with Michael Crocker *much to the delight of fans all over*
As much as we lost… again… and again. Origin is still the best Rugby League of the entire year. NEVER CHANGE SOO!!
Also big time love for Grinspoon playing Champion. Excellent Rugby League song.
my favourite part is you all clutching at straws.
whatevs suchy, we could all be winners if we just picked the winning team. it’s called being a mercenary.
also….a treacherous pig dog.
Is this still directed at me? NSW don’t make me want to support them. I hated the latte set of the late 90′s. Give me a dumb, ugly team to support anyday.
The NSW selectors make Joker cry
Brett White! Brett fffaaarrrrkkkkiiiinnn White for fffaaaarrrrkkkkss sake.