the hot man news

We here at Oh Errol are nothing if not dedicated journalists. Committed to bringing you the most important news from around Australia and beyond.

And is there any news more important than hot mans in the NRL? I say no. Thanks to Bobby our reporter in the field, it has come to our attention that this weekend we will be treated to some fresh Canberran meat. Yes I am aware of how creepy that sounds, but I enjoy my sentence regardless. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Raiders young buck (Bobby’s words) Marc-with-a-C Herbert!

Look at that hair! Its strawberry blond deliciousness. He is thisclose to having a 1970s mop. Keep growing it baby! We are enthusiastic supporters of hair here at Errol. Hair love! The more hair, the better. On your head anyway. Although NRL players, may I just remind you that men are SUPPOSED to have body hair and religiously removing yours so you look like hairless cat is positively unattractive. No woman wants to hump a hairless man. No woman whose existence we approve of anyway.

Anyway, yes…MARC HERBERT! I hope for the sake of our eyes (and pants) that Captain Urination spends a lengthy stint on the sideline. We need more luxurious manes in rugby league. Although to be honest, no one can ever begin to come close to Dessy Hasler. BEST.HAIR.EVER. I’m convinced he’s got Kennedy blood running through those veins.

Readers, I’m also happy to report the future of NRL Hotness is looking bright. Incandescent even. I didn’t think Prince Scott the Caramel could get any more awesome, but he has. You see, he has been keeping his eye out for hotness north of the border. We didn’t even ask him to. He’s so pro-active! Keep this up and he may even join Brownie as an Errol intern. Lucky! So future intern, what have you got for us this evening?

“He is a freak,” said premiership-winning captain Prince. “I just shake my head.

“I have been doing weights for seven or eight years now and I haven’t got half the body that kid has.”

“I haven’t seen him play yet, but seeing him train in the gym with us, he has definitely got an athlete’s body,” said Prince.

Translation = THIS KID IS HOT.

Straight man code is so easy to decipher. You guys totally need to up the cagey factor if you wanna get one by us. It’s almost sad.

Anyway, Scotty… in your eagerness to describe the kids muscles of granite you forgot to to tell us his name. If you weren’t so busy eye raping him you woulda said “his name is Kayne Lawton.” You disgust me Prince. Objectifying a teenager like that. Have you no shame?

Seriously though, holy mother of GOD. Eighteen?? How is this possible? Wow just….wow. Hot Bitch Cooper, baby, you have an heir to the throne.

And finally, in the requisite human interest story that always concludes the news, let us talk about John Williams. Props to the mama and papa Williams who not only gave us The Hot Pioneer, but also produced the physical perfection that is his brother John. I would like to take this opportunity to say that my best mate knows the Williams from around the traps and thought I did too. We recently had a conversation that went something like -

K- You know who I love? The crazy bearded winger at Manly. David Williams.
S – Yeh we know him! And his brother! You know him Kiki…Hotdog! He plays for the Cowboys.

Um, no. No I don’t. Sure my memory is god awful (thanks vodka), but I’m preeeetttty sure I would remember a) a man called Hotdog and b) my eyes seeing THIS -

And that concludes the news for tonight. Go fuck yourselves, San Diego.

Hot Naked John thanks to the lovely Artie at FM Forums.