the oh errol awards 2008: winners post
December 14th, 2008You’ve been on the edge of your seats waiting for the Oh Errol Awards winners post, right? I imagine it’s the same sort of anticipation we’re experiencing waiting for 17 Again. And just like how we’re dyyying to see Zeffie in the full glory of his Ed Hardy getup, our fanz are dyyying for these results. Who is the Fattest Man in League? Who will take out Best Hair? The time has come, babies.
But wait, you haven’t announced the Matt Cooper Award for Hottest Bitch in League nominees!?
DAMMIT. You kids and your eye for awards categories – we were hoping you wouldn’t notice. Look, we totally tried to write it. For reals. And then this happened:
After taking one look at Hot Bitch Cooper naked with a footy strategically placed under his perfectly sculpted man-v, we realised no one can ever beat (unless he asked nicely) that and the category was therefore null and void. NULL AND VOID PEOPLE.
So after many long, hard (tee hee) nights of drinking straight from the bottle decision making, we finally present to you:
THE OH ERROL AWARDS 2008 WINNERS
The Marlon Brando (the later years) Award for the Fattest Man in League
The Nominees:
Granted, we are totally biased because he’s our beloved intern…but still. How can we go past the jiggling wonder that is Danny Wicks? His gut is HYPNOTIC.
The Fanta Pants Award for the Biggest Ranga in League
The Nominees:
Okay so he isn’t actually THAT ranga. He’s no bloodnut. More of a ginge than anything. But we have to give Monas this award. He needs some love. Why? Check out his appearance in ‘leading football groupie’ Charmyne Palavi’s News Ltd album:
UNKNOWN MAN. UNKNOWN….MAN. This year alone Monas has played great first grade footy for the Raiders, the Country team, New South Wales AND Australia. Apparently this fact has escaped the gallery compiler. Poor Monas…all that footy and he’s still The Unknown Man. Well not to us! He is the recipient of THE BIGGEST RANGA IN LEAGUE! We love you Monas.
The Polarfleece Award for the Snuggliest Man in League
The Nominees:
Ohhh this was a toughie. But at the end of the day we had to give it to Scotty for the whole My Hero Reads Too thing, among other reasons.
The Des Hasler Award for the Best Hair in League
The Nominees:
When Davey attacked his hair with scissors in a drunken post Grand Final haze, we all cried some sad sad tears. NOT THE HAIR DAVEY…NOT.THE.HAAAAAIR. For the sake of this award, we are going to pretend that that horrific event never happened. Let us honour the amazing work he (and his hair) did during the year.
Dave has the trifecta of awesome hair. Colour, volume and length. It’s godamn perfect hair. Those natural white blonde highlights? AMAZING. The Errol team is completely obsessed with everything 70s’ and Davey’s hair perfectly epitomises the awesomness of that decade. We hope he grows it back as soon as humanly possible.
The Caramel Delicious Award for the Best Skin in League
The Nominees:
Bitch had to win something this year.
The Fuzzy Duckling Award for Cutest Rookie of the Year
The Nominees:
HE’S JOHN KITE. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY? Ok granted, this was a tough category too, but the passport story won our hearts and locked this win in.
The Oh Errol Awards will be back next year with a whole new batch of nominees! Or possibly just the same ones as this year with moustaches drawn on to trick you all into thinking they’re different. Coz we’re crafty like that.
IMPORTANT – the ridiculously amazing photo of Hot Bitch is from the brilliant Gods of Football calendar. Don’t be dodgy and rely on scans, go and buy the calendar yourself! We have multiple copies. It’s for a great cause. Let’s support the players for getting nakey for charity and support the brilliant work that the McGrath Foundation does.
So go HERE and find out where you can purchase one. Do it now. NOW NOW NOW!
kiki
sassy
lozzy
interns
It wasn’t the newspaper who wrote unknown man, it was Charmyne herself!
I think she actually said something “does anyone know who this guy is?” and when told it was monas shes claimed not to know anything about the raiders.
BUT ENOUGH about her.
Poor Reni. Im sure if he finds out he won best skin it would make his whole year. A bit embarassing though for me, after I told Scott Prince in person that he had it in the bag. MY BAD PRINCEY
Guh! Reni Maitua and John Kite! Congratulations, bbs! Your meat trays are in the mail.
Heeeart.
Marlo maybe you should message Reni and let him know. Give him something to feel good about.
Whether it’s the cocoa butter, the salt water, his parents genes? It’s clearly working. In fact, i’m jealous.
Oh, and naturally i’m biased, but i would have liked Jarrad Hickey to have won. NEXT YEAR, JARRAD!
my davey hair collage is so awesome. that is all.
you know what would be amazing?
if some STORM boys actually GOT nominated.AT ALL. -HINT HINT NUDGE NUDGE- AT LEAST ONE. ALL I ASK IS ONE!
You wont even need to put too much dettol in your bath, unlike the ‘sticking up for billy’ post- which was AAAMAZING i might add- which you would have had to use the whole container.
oh and im happy with all the winners, except davey. WIKI SHOULD HAVE WON.
part from that- everything is good
Finally I can sleep at night….night after night I have woken wondering “Who is the fattest man in league? Who???” and then spent the rest of the night pacing. Now I can have my rest.
hindy was robbed. he’s been working for this award his whole career only to be pipped by some ‘flavour of the month’ i wish i had the attention span to be outraged…
How could Keith Galloway not win the fantapants award? That guy is so orange I heard they tried to cut him into quarters and pass him round at half time. Tiger bias I reckonz. Scott Prince wouldn’t have won polarfleece if he was still at the Tigers….
Poor Monas… the unknown ranga
Also I LOVE that you didn’t put up your warning picture before posting the nakey Hot Bitch Cooper photo – I am laughing at the thought of lots of people get busted looking at his man-v at their work computers!!
it’s true suchy. NO ONE LOVES THE TIGERS. at least not now there’s no scotty prince in the team. also at least not anyone who counts. heart.
baz – you’re right, but I still say hindy has no one but himself to blame. enough with the haircuts already, hindmarsh.
YOU ARE ALL SUCH WHINGERS *storms off*
its maintenence!!! he needs to prune it back every now and then so it keeps growing back all luscious like…
Daveys hair in those pictures is magnificent. And the beard just pushes it higher. And people try to tell me sport isn’t about the hair!
um suchy didn’t you read the thing about Monas? we HAD to give it to him. HE’S THE UNKNOWN MAN.
although i do agree with you, galloway is literally the biggest ranga in league. but my sympathy for Monas won out. SOZ KEIF.
yes Hindy does have amazing hair, but nothing can compare with Davey’s golden mane.
elise maybe we should have a category next year like BIGGEST TOOL IN LEAGUE…then all 5 nominees could be storm players! YAY!
bahahaha. no obvs we need a Fiercest Bitch in League coz Cooper Cronk woulda won the shit out of that.
oh and yes jess i have given up on warning people on nakedness. FUCK THAT. ITS MY BLOG.
I enjoy the lack of warning – each picture is a suprise to me!
elise maybe we should have a category next year like BIGGEST TOOL IN LEAGUE…then all 5 nominees could be storm players! YAY!
LOLOL
Monas is a pretender to Keith’s throne. I’m going to spend next season standing on top of the toilet block at Leichhardt Oval brandishing a “Keith wuz robbed” banner.
Danny Wicks Wins! The campaign would like to thank Donut King and Hungry Jacks for their unwavering support in making Danny the man he is today: Athlete defyingly Massive!
Monas is a pretender to Keith’s throne. I’m going to spend next season standing on top of the toilet block at Leichhardt Oval brandishing a “Keith wuz robbed” banner.
I thought the toilet block at Leichhardt was Keith Galloway’s “throne”…?
belated post but still…
kitey! woot! and half a woot to tooty (maitua) even tho he adorns a lighter shade of blue now (my eyes!)
I was just reading over some of my fave posts (I’m currently procrastinating from studying for my exams haha) & was just wondering, whatever happened to the 2009 Oh Errol Awards?
lol
hahhah DAMNIT someone noticed
yeh we kinda got distracted then thought there was no point. never fear we are on top of everything this year (well Sassy is at least hahah) there will definitely be awards.