two-for-one recap: remedial footy and rain gods

No proper recap from me this week. Instead you get two incoherent rants about two different games smooshed together to look like one.  Oh, you wanted a comprehensive game run-down? Well:

a) I was hungover for one of these games, and

b) it’s my blog and I’m lazy.

So you better like what you get or I will kick you in the shins.

EELS VS RAIDERS

Aah I love when these two play.  It’s a bonanza of retro!  Clearly Marc Herbert and Terry Campese have taken time out from their busy schedule of signing up for World War I to be here, and Nathan Hindmarsh and Joel Reddy have kindly time-travelled from the seventies to make it a fair competition.

I actually mistook Reddy for Hindy when he was gossiping in the corner of the changeroom with Eric Grothe, Jr before the game, which obviously means his mop is coming closer and closer to the awesomeness of Hindy’s.  Close … but not quite.

Pic. Mark Evans

Captain Hindy of the Wildcats has brought a whole new game this year in terms of hair.  BEST HAIR EVER, RIGHT?  We say yes.

Coincidence that this Best Hair Ever has Parra sitting at number 7 on the ladder with two wins out of three?  Coincidence that Joel Reddy seems to be playing better than ever now that he’s gone the mop?  You can’t argue with Science, people.  You can’t argue with Science.

Ok so I haven’t quite figured out where Fui Fui Moi Moi’s new mullet fits into this theory, but I’m working on it, babies.  I really am. I even have my lab coat on as we speak.

Disclaimer: may be stand-in science lady and not actual Sassy

Do you know what though?  There’s something better than the Parra festival of Kick-ass Seventies Hair … the comeback of Eric Grothe, Jr.  That’s right bitches, GROTHE IS BACK.  It’s THE RENAISSANCE OF GROTHE.

ME SO HAPPY.
Pic. Mark Evans

Renaissance is the perfect word too, cause Guru isn’t just the comeback kid of Parra … he’s also – as Suchy reminded us the other day – the lead guitarist of Three Day Grothe AND lead singer of Shinobi.  Bitch doesn’t just play footy, he’s a musician. And – get this – a comedian.  Three Day Grothe … see what he did there?  Eric Grothe, Jr is pretty much a Renaissance man. Bet he plays chess and studies archaeology too.

The Errol office was filled with glee when he put down the match-winning try. SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE TO GO BACK TO RESERVE GRADE!  SOMEONE GETS TO STAY IN FIRST GRADE WITH THE BIG BOYS!

How does it feel, Eric?

… Aw yeah, pretty good. I’m excited to get to use proper pencils and pieces of paper with corners again.

And is there a particular reason you’re not wearing a shirt for this interview?

Not allowed to have proper shirts in Reggies, only jerseys. Coach says we might pull the buttons off, try and eat them and get choked.

The only failure in this game was that Canberra couldn’tquitemanage to bring back the scrum-split for a try.  Next time, darlins.

 

SEA EAGLES VS PANTHERS

As Kiki said, even though it COMPLETELY ruined our tips (thanks for nuthin, Sea Eagles) we loved seeing the Panthers get up at Brookvale.  And not just because our favourite Baby Panthers Lachlan Coote and Wade Graham were total stars.

Pic. Phil Hillyard

Yes, we did discover them.  Feel free to send us royalties of some kind.

It was also a massive game of firsts. First time that Steve Matai busted his hair out in a curly ponytail, first time we ever saw work experience boy Lachie pack into a scrum. (Which didn’t go too well, if you were wondering. Think: “LACHLAN. GET YER HEAD IN”.)

Also the first time Des Hasler got so incredibly enraged that he affected the physical world.  We are massive fans of Des Hasler’s Rage.  One of my personal highlights of the 2008 season was seeing Dave Williams fumble the ball and Dessie scream ‘MOTHERFUCKER’ from the coaching box.  We are also massive fans of his full and feathery head of golden hair. Which is why I especially love it when he spews a tirade into the coaching mike then concludes it by whipping off his headset and shaking his mane as if to say AND THAT’S ALL THE ABUSE YOU GET.  Oh, Des.

I would actually like it if they could somehow organise for there to be a Dessie-cam every time I watch Manly play on tv. Just a little Dessie-cam box down in the left corner. That Monday night game was a festival of fumbles and penalties and general no-no times and for every single one that happened we screamed out from the couch to see Dessie’s reaction. ‘Cut to Des!’ we cried. ‘SHOW US DESSSIEEEEEE!’

Dessie just really cracked it this time.  It’s no coincidence that it started pissing down at Brookie precisely as Des was giving his halftime speech and/or silent treatment. You can trust me on that, cause I have a lab coat.

It was raining so bloody hard Matai had to put his hair in a bun. That bitch Hasler has found a way to channel his fury and control the weather.  He’s a weather god … like THOR. Cept instead of a hammer he has a headset.

You know those boys know what they’re in for too. I swear little Shane Neumann is looking up at the coach’s box in terror.

Michael Robertson on the other hand … well he pretty much looks like that all the time now.

See?

We’re getting kinda Concerned about Robbo, to be honest. With Brett Stewart out, Robbo’s been shunted back to fullback.

And if you look really closely in his eyes, every time one of the wingers does something good, Robbo sees his spot on the wing slipping away and dies just a little bit inside. Same thing whenever Adam Cuthbertson does something good and people discuss how he has a rocking Wolfman beard now. Especially the same thing whenever Robbo fumbles the ball or passes across the sideline to an imaginary man and has no no times.

If you’re wondering I also missed some of the game because at one point the commentary team said Shane Neumann “just found himself in an awkward situation on a wet evening” and I giggled for ages.  Who HASN’T, Shane.  Who hasn’t.

 

And lastly I wanna introduce a Brand New Errol Superstar. We were always Michael Gordon fans, but that was before he went ahead and grew a moustache.

I wonder if the Errol girls will like my new mo?

Well actually, more like I realised he was hot last year, then completely forgot he existed during the off-season because I have a memory like Swiss cheese. Although apparently I am very consistent in my taste in men because I thought the same thing all over again this year.  I win at life!

It’s just like the time I sauntered over and cracked onto a cute scruffy blond boy at the Brighton Bar, only for him to tell me I had done exactly the same thing and pashed him the week before. OOPS. On the bright side he didn’t seem to mind.

Anyway. God knows there’s nothing we love more than a man with a mo … and we’re 99% sure he grew it specifically to be on Errol.

UNCANNY! It’s like he is Errol Flynn. Well we love it, baby. Thumbs up, Mister Gordon.

Thanks to the lovely BS for the MG and Eric Grothe caps. Check out the whole blog, why don’t ya?