(very late) footy observations of the week

So Kiki and I have just finished our weekly game of texas hold’em to decide who gets to write up the footy observations of the week … and it looks like I won. Sorry it’s a little bit late, but to be honest we don’t really know how to play poker and that makes things a bit tricky. Mainly we just drink and make jokes about Queens. Anyway.  On to the footy!

Brett Hodgson and Anthony Quinn have both left the field

Starlight Hodgson played his last ever game at Campbelltown Oval against the Storm on Monday night, and I will try not to make any Starlight Foundation jokes today, because I want you to think I’m classy. (You know, cause he always looks like he’s just managing to beat back death in the form of a terminal illness? And is all grey-coloured and stuff? You know?? Never mind).

Starlight Bretty didn’t quite manage to pull off the fairytale and win his last match at the ground, but he also wasn’t the only one who had an undignified exit from the field. Little Anthony Quinn from the Storm was involved in a fairly intense collision. Specifically, a collision between his face and what I think was Ben Teo’s shoulder … and the results were not pretty. It wasn’t so much a trip to Disneyland as a full package tour to Euro-Disney. Daaaamn. I think his nose may have been two dimensional afterwards.

But since his teammate Brett White is also struggling with a back injury, maybe the two can nurse each other back to health? I know you want to boys.

Awwwww.

Beaver and Ned Kelly

We’ve all also been busy this week dealing with the trauma of losing Mark Gasnier to French Rugby Union, but it seems like the footy abandonment isn’t stopping, because our beloved Steve Menzies announced on the Footy Show that he’ll be leaving to play Super League in England in 2009. Not Beaver!

Kiki spent a good part of her adolescence obsessed with Beaver, and considering I spend precious hours of my life photoshopping sepia pics of Beaver for this blog, I think you all know how I feel about him. He is lovely. In fact, Corporal Menzies of the Light Brigade is probably one of the true gentlemen of league.

So basically this is heartbreaking news. Who am I going to make WWI references about now? Who is Ray Warren going to call EVERGREEN and a JUGGERNAUT? It feels a bit like the end of my youth.

But even though I’ll miss him like crazy, the one bright spot is that his announcement got him onto the Footy Show with that hot bearded bitch David Williams. My pants! They can’t handle it!

I was overwhelmed with joy at the awesomeness of seeing Beaver and Ned Kelly at the one desk. I actually may have swooned. Especially now that I know for certain what I always suspected: that Ned Kelly has that massive gold-prospecting beard because he Just Can’t be Bothered. I love a hot man that doesn’t give a shit. Next to a hot man with low standards, it’s my favourite kind of man. And if the Footy Show goes through with their threat to give our hot bitch Williams a makeover and shave it off I am letting you all know now I will cut a bitch. I love that crazy beard.

Beaver also made me love him even more than before by having an awesome wife and possibly the fattest baby in the world. If you’re reading Menzieses … adopt me?

The rest of the show was apparently ‘Ladies’ Night’ and involved heinous and boring things like Bryan McFadden. Is that really what they think women want to see on television? His songs are completely and utterly awful. How about we just don’t talk about it and move right onto my favourite half-Islander odd couple.

Willie 4 Sonny Bill 4eva

This week Rugby League Weekly published the annual players’ poll, which says (pretty overwhelmingly) that they think Big Willie Mason is the most overrated player in the game. And while I love Big Willie like a sister, it’s kinda true. Not because he’s a terrible player. More because bitch can’t keep his mouth shut about how fierce he is and is basically a menace to himself and to others.

Boring news, right?

But do you know who defended him? His old Bulldogs BFF Sonny Bill Feelings.

I KNEW IT. EVEN AFTER THEIR HUGE FALLING OUT. I KNEW THOSE CRAZY KIDS STILL SECRETLY LOVED EACH OTHER!

Ok clearly I’m a bit emotional about this. What can I say? I love love! And because I can’t get manage to get anything comprehensible out without USING EXCESSIVE CAPS, I’m just going to present my feelings in video form. Thanks to Kiki for the killer songchoice. Enjoy!