where in the world is sonny bill feelings?
July 28th, 2008Oh yeah, the saga continues. Now the Bulldogs have come out guns a-blazing to try and sue Monsieur Feelings and stop him playing for anyone else. But the Supreme Court says they have to find him first.
And I should explain something at this point: If we Errol girls haven’t written anything serious about sbfeelings and his run from tha law it’s because we’re too angry and offended. We hate this whole thing more than when the jukebox at the Judgy eats our $20 and then refuses to play our T Rex, Whitney Houston and Daryl Braithwaite selections.
I’m also a bit worried that the British process-servers they send after him don’t follow the NRL and won’t know where to look for the fleeing Kiwi. That’s why I’ve decided to do everything I can to help Greenberg and the dogs and prepared a brief and informative Sonny Bill Feelings dossier.
Height: 191cm
Weight: 108kg
DOB: 3rd Aug 1985
Distinguishing features: approx. 95 Polynesian cultural tattoos
approx. 1 x douchebag ‘WILLIAMS’ tattoo across upper back
1 x Dora the Explorer backpack
Appearance: Likely sporting trenchcoat, fedora, look of confusion, and vacant stare.
Artist’s Rendering
Last Sighting: Heathrow Airport, London.
Suggested search areas:
Leicester Square area, central London. Suspect reported to be mesmerised by locations with brightly-coloured and/or flashing lights.
London Aquarium, likely attempting to commune with sea creatures.
Madame Tussaud’s Waxworks. Suspect believed to hold an affinity with David Beckham. May attempt to seek Beckham’s advice before deciding on future movements.
Buckingham Palace Forecourt. May attempt to meet the Queen.
Tate Modern Gallery. Namely, playing in the ‘Embankment’ exhibition. (Wheeee!)
Special case considerations: Target is not fluent in English. Do not try and engage verbally. Sign-language advisable.
kiki
sassy
lozzy
interns
