YEEEHAAAA!

I am a person of wide ranging interests. And this weekend my hetero life mate Sassy and I will be travelling north to further explore one of these interests. You see, dear readers…recently I’ve found myself bizzarely into the sport of bullriding. Yes, bullriding. Thanks to the genius of cable television I discovered the oddly compelling Beyond The Bull. The show follows three professional bullriders (clad in the tightest jeans known to man) competing in the PBR over a year.

This isn’t some backwater rural rodeo. Oh no. This is big time, big bucks and big thrills. There’s fireworks, big screens and mexican waves. As the overly caffeinated announcer screams before every competition – THIS AINT NO RODEO! THIS IS THE P.B.RRRRRRR! And in a stunt only Americans could pull off, the letters ‘PBR’ light up in flames in the middle of the stadium. Brilliant.

The three cowboys consist of the deeply religious (and suitably flamboyant) Brazilian Adriano Moraes, an old school Oklahoman cowboy named JW Hart and my favourite, a cynical short tempered boy from country NSW called Brendon Clark. I honestly had no idea there were Australian bullriders, let alone ones competing at the top level. I instantly fell in love with Brendon because of his hilarious Aussieness.

The production crew asks the riders to muse on an upcoming competition. Adriano says something spritual, JW says something about conquering fear and Brendon simply says – “I’m nervous as shit!!!”.

The characters made the show compelling. But even more so was the constant barrage of men in tight jeans, plaid shirts and cowboy hats. Men who ride huge hulking bulls for a living. Men that get horrifically injured but get back on the bull in the next round. It makes my lady parts tingle. I don’t know why this is hot but it just is okay?

Anyway, thanks to my perusing of PBR Australia I discovered that the excellence and hotness of professional bullriding would soon be available for me to see in person. With my own eyes! And nostrils. I’m sure it’s gonna stink like Britneys unwashed weave, but that’s okay. After years of sitting in the cheap seats at the footy I can handle almost anything. Last year a man pissed in an empty beer cup and then proudly showed me the result. True story.

So my friends, tomorrow night Sassy, our friend Yasmin and myself will be attending the Brendon Clark Invitational in beautiful Newcastle. And you know we are going to blog about it.

PS – Since we will be away for the weekend the footy recaps may be a bit delayed. But fear not, they will appear. There… now you can sleep at night.